Monday, October 10, 2016

"Grab em by the Pussy!" Locker Room Talk



(Warning- any comments about Bill/Hillary Clinton will be deleted. This post is NOT about Trump vs Hillary or about what Bill Clinton may or may not have done or any comparison. So if that's the only argument you've got, please take it elsewhere.)

I've been thinking for a few days about what I was going to write on this topic. I started thinking about it when that heinous video came out of Trump saying more awful, disgusting, crude things about women and then after watching the debate I knew I had to say something.

If you haven't seen it yet: here, but be warned it is triggering and graphic

http://money.cnn.com/2016/10/07/media/access-hollywood-donald-trump-tape/index.html

http://time.com/4523972/donald-trumps-comment-root-sexual-violence/

A quote from Time that gives you the gist if you don't want to watch it:

Trump was caught on tape talking with the Today Show’s Billy Bush (at the time, Bush was at Access Hollywood), and Trump brags that because he’s famous, he could do whatever he wanted to women, and was able to “grab them by the pussy” at his leisure. He likes kissing beautiful women, he says, and so just does it when he wants (“I don’t even wait,” he says – suggesting that he does in fact realize he should have a woman’s consent to kiss her, but feels fine about forcing it). While trying to get a married woman to sleep with him he “moved on her like a bitch.”

I have been told more than once (and by Trump himself at last night's debate) that his horrible statements about grabbing a woman by the pussy and kissing her without consent are simply locker room talk and dirty talk. That all men talk like this, in fact all people talk like this at one time or another.

What a sick and awful way to try and rationalize this particular set of statements. It doesn't matter if it was 11 years ago or if it was yesterday. The fact remains that Donald Trump does not respect women and aside from arm candy and sex he doesn't like us very much either. If, and that's a big if, this was the only degrading thing he'd said about women and he gave a genuine apology I could get past it, but not only is it NOT the only horrible thing Trump has said about women, he couldn't even apologize for it properly.

Here are just a few of the things Trump has said about women:

May of 2013- Twitter
26,000 unreported sexual assults in the military-only 238 convictions. What did these geniuses expect when they put men & women together?

2011
That a journalist who needed to pump her breast milk was disgusting

A 2006 interview with Larry King
“[Angelina Jolie’s] been with so many guys she makes me look like a baby... And, I just don’t even find her attractive,”

In 2015 on CNN
Implying Megyn Kelly was only giving him a hard time because she was on her period.
"blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her... wherever."

In 2012- Twitter
@ariannahuff is unattractive both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man- he made a good decision.

Every comment about Ivanka, his daughter. In 2004 he actually called her a piece of ass.

In 1996 he called a Miss America winner fat and complained about the 15 pounds of weight she gained.

None of these comments are appropriate, especially not from someone trying to become president of the United States. At no time has Trump recanted and begged the American people to forgive his sexist and disgusting habit of degrading women. I can see if he just wanted to remain a rich douche bag with an ugly casino and stupid TV show, he could say all of this, and it would still be gross and inappropriate, but women of the United States wouldn't have to be as worried about the message he was sending. Once he decided to step into the political arena this behavior needed to end. (Honestly it should never have started but I guess that was asking for too much from someone like this.)

And his half assed apology? It might have been OK if he then hadn't backed it up with all the "it's just locker room talk" bull shit. He needed to show real remorse- but he didn't, because he doesn't feel any.

This is not how a man speaks about a woman, at least not a decent man. Do men sexualize women in private? Sure, women do it too! I've said some crude things in my life, I've heard innuendos and sex jokes from my friends. I've had a filthy mouth since I was 15. But not once have I made a comment about how it's my right to take consent away from another person, that I should have the ability to kiss, fondle, touch or fuck anyone without their consent. His words come from a sense of entitlement because he is rich and famous.

Trump's statements are almost like he is admitting to sexual assault. I have never heard anyone I respect and care for speak this way about another person. In fact many men have come out to say his locker room excuse is just crap, that they and their friends would never say anything like that. This includes major sports players.

Had Trump been recorded saying, "Man I like to kiss girls, there is nothing like a tight pussy. That bitch was seriously hot." I would be grossed out; 1) Because he wants to be president and 2) Because he is yucky. But hey, those would be his opinions on sex, hopefully sex with a consenting adult. That would actually be "dirty talk." Maybe not respectful, but he can talk like that, if he wants. It's not pretty but humans like to use their words- even when those words are not very nice. (These were also grown adults mic'd and being recorded, not two drunk guys talking in their basement.)

His comments about and towards women are not OK. They are, unfortunately, becoming typical of what I see in the news. As a people Americans need to re learn about consent. You do not touch someone without their say so. This is not difficult and it is not something to joke about. No one owes you physical contact. Women are equal to men, we deserve the same respect, tolerance, pay and rights. Every day I hear another story about a woman being groped, raped, assaulted or cat called and I am disheartened by it.

I won't pretend objectification doesn't happen from men and women, because it does. It's not good and everyone deserves respect. I know I've probably done it, even not intentionally and that thought shames me. We need to be aware of it though, so that the conversation can change.

Mr. Trump- I get it- you thrive on conflict, you have a persona of being a hard core douche wheel who gets what he wants when he wants it. But you owe America and especially it's women a true apology and you need to eat crow....What's more you need to look deep down inside yourself and change how you view and act in regards to the female population. Then and only then would I consider you not a major threat to me, my daughters and the other women I care about.





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