Wednesday, February 10, 2016

PromPosals- Yay or Nay?






Growing up in Northern California the Prom was a big deal, the right guy (or group of friends) the perfect dress, a theme not too corny and good shoes that look awesome and are either a) easy to kick off or b) don't kill your feet when you dance in them.

I went to the prom twice, the first time the guy who asked I had only known a few weeks and we weren't dating. He came up to me, and said, "Renee...uuuh.....can I talk to you?" I of course said yes as his friends had given me the heads up. The following is the basic conversation.

"I was wondering if you'd go to the prom with me."

"Sure." (BIG GRIN)

"Ok so.... I'll pick you up before and then afterwards there's this party at (insert friend name)."

"I'll check with my mom, but I'm pretty sure it's cool." (I was SO non nonchalant.)

End scene.

We went, we danced, we had our picture taken and the party was pretty fun. It was the perfect night.

The second time I went on what was basically a triple date, my best guy friend took me and his two best friends were currently dating my two best female friends so we all went together. It was exciting, especially since I was a senior  and riding the "Pink Lady" vibe.

Well then I moved to Utah and discovered teens here ( and apparently elsewhere...) do this ridiculous thing called  a Promposal where the guy (or girl, though here in Utah it's usually the traditional male asking female bit) asks the girl to prom in some grand gesture. Then the girl is supposed to give her response in another creative over the top way.

Not sure what the hell a Promposal is?
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/arts-and-entertainment/wp/2014/04/21/a-short-history-of-the-promposal/

My husband told me all about how when he did it there was so much planning involved and it's this GIANT DEAL. Over the past 11 years I have seen red solo cups spelled out over free way pedestrian bridges, giant poster boards made, youtube videos created and many more public displays of prom-ffection So much time and effort go into this, and maybe it's just me, but I think it is one of the stupidest things ever.

First off: What happens if they say no? You make this very elaborate attempt to get a date and they are just not that into you? This is especially bad if you do the asking in public. Just like a marriage proposal the only way this scenario works is if you and your date have already discussed it and you know for CERTAIN the object of your affection will say yes.

Scary Article to prove my point:
http://gawker.com/teen-rejected-in-front-of-entire-school-learns-the-peri-1708461930


Second: What if you're not very creative, or you're poor? So some girl/guy is expecting this awesome Promposal  (or response) and all their friends get asked in way romantic gesture or get a brilliant answer and  you can only think of making a fb meme and posting it to their wall or can't afford to do anything. Or what if they ask you in some mag fab way and you can't think of how to reciprocate so you simply say: yes.   I mean what if some girl doesn't think the boy who asked her did it "creatively" enough...will she say no? What if the person you ask doesn't say yes in a equally public display of affection, will then the asker take back the prom request? Seems like a recipe for disappointment and possible hurt feelings.

Interesting article from Huff Post about how much kids (read mom and dad) are paying on this trend,
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/04/20/average-promposal-cost_n_7103072.html

Third: Doesn't this set people up later in life? You get this great promposal so now expectations for the real thing are sky high? I got a good marriage proposal, but had my high school boyfriend asked me to prom in sky writing, would what I thought of as the perfect marriage proposal fall a little...short?

Fourth: Isn't this just another way to make other people feel bad? It's already awful to not get invited to the prom. If you are surrounded by other teens that are being asked in extremely wonderful and imaginative ways and no one asks you...Isn't teen depression and suicide on the rise enough without a metaphoric billboard that makes them feel like a loser because "no one liked me enough to take me prom and make a HUGE deal out of it?" Not to mention snobby teen assholes who would like nothing better than to rub their promposal in the faces of kids they deem "unpopular."

So for me...I find the concept kind of cute but really just a stupid that borderlines on a we-wanna-be-famous trend that has nothing to do with whether or not kids even like the person they've asked...They like the attention.

If some boy goes to great lengths to ask one of my daughters out I don't want them to feel pressured to give their response in a creative manner. Girls (or anyone) should feel comfortable simply saying, "Okay."  And my son should in no way think that the only way the girl he likes will go to prom with him is if he writes a 1000 word essay about why she is funny or some other nonsense.

Is my age just showing or is this really what the world is turning into?

When did simply being asked to prom become.....not good enough?

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