Monday, December 26, 2016

When Christmas doesn't feel like Christmas- Holiday Depression



Christmas was weird this year. I put a ton of time and effort into gifts and holiday plans, but still the closer the holiday got the more out of the spirit I became. I played Christmas music, watched my favorite Christmas movies, wrapped gifts, trimmed the tree. I even baked a traditional steamed Christmas pudding and ate a ton of goodies my mom sent, alas I feel like I never got into the swing of things.

This bothered me for two reasons 1) I actually love Christmas. I love buying presents for people and I enjoy the feel of the holiday. After Halloween it's my next favorite holiday, then it's my birthday (cause it's all about me...of course lol) and 2) Because I didn't have a reason to not be in the holiday spirit and I hate feeling like I am bringing down my family and friends.

We went to my in-laws this year. Wonderful warm people who over decorate their home (love it), bake all kinds of holiday goodies and give wonderful presents to all the children, in-laws and grand children. They have a dozen special traditions that my husband was very much looking forward to sharing with me and our kids, it was the first year we've been able to go since we got married.

There is the picnic under the Christmas tree, where all 20+ of us sit around the tree and eat off blankets, paper plates and with our fingers all manner of junk foods. Chips, dip, little smokies, cheese, crackers, deli meat etc... etc.. Then there is a huge gift exchange between the siblings. There's a holiday party at his grandma's on Christmas Eve where they do a production of reading the Christmas story from the Bible, sing songs and ring bells.  You have to eat breakfast on Christmas day before any child in allowed to open gifts from Santa upstairs (they even put up a sheet so you can't see the tree or presents), then my husband's parents give presents down stairs.  This year they all went to church after presents and then did a huge family dinner of turkey at my husband's grandmother's house.

It was a perfect, ideal Christmas. Carols, gifts, great food, delicious aromas, snow, sledding, children laughing....simply ideal. I, however, never once quite felt the holiday and just couldn't wait to go home. I don't like being away from my house on the holidays and for the first time in eight years my mom and dad were not here for Christmas. I am also 38 weeks pregnant, I don't feel well, I can't sleep and my hips and pelvic region hurt like hell. My youngest son (who is 2) was also not at his brightest and nicest this weekend, he was cranky, tired, over stimulated and frustrated. Which meant that I didn't get to participate in the Grandma Christmas Eve festivities, the rocket shooting or the sledding. I spent a good deal of time alone with a cranky toddler.

I hope that even with my semi bad mood my kids and husband had a lovely weekend, they all deserved it. We drove home Christmas Day and then did family gifts at the house, which was nice and I enjoyed watching my kids and husband pick out the gifts I so carefully selected. I in turn received some wonderful things as well (though not the Backsteet Boys Las Vegas tickets I had hoped to get..... grrrrr. lmao  ). We ate mac and cheese and had a quiet rest of our Christmas night, watching White Christmas. It was the most fun and most relaxed I felt for three days.

However, I have a box of un opened presents just waiting for when my mom and dad can come when baby # 4 decided to makes his appearance. (Hopefully any day now.) Which kind of makes me sad all over again. Not having my mom with me this Christmas and being so pregnant really affected my mood this holiday season. Sitting here the day after Christmas I feel like I missed out on something, like Christmas hasn't quite come yet, it's a weird surreal feeling I can't get passed.  I hope it goes away. I am excited for the new baby to come and for my mom and dad to be here.

I hope anyone else who had depression this holiday season, or who simply never got around to feeling like it was the holidays has a much better 2017. I know how it feels when Christmas....just isn't Christmas, it's pretty awful and it's never fun to be the one standing on the side lines miserable while everyone else is enjoying love, light and laughter.

So here's to the end of 2016, which in all honestly sucked balls. Hopefully 2017 will be so much better.

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Dark Inheritance by Renee Lake

My brand new novel was released just the other day!! Right now you can get in on kindle or for your nook for less than 3 dollars! In fact you can get in on pretty much any e-reading device! It will be available in paperback 12/18/2016


“He said murder-suicide.”

When Rosaline Lysgaard hears those words over the phone she doesn’t realize that she is about to inherit much more than her father’s estate and money. For the first time since she was 13 she must return home to Skummel Manor, with the hope of figuring out what really happened to her father.

Together with her, emotionally disturbed, twin brother Wren, she discovers a dark and disturbing family history. However, something besides secrets lurks in the corners of her childhood home; something sinister that wants what only Rosaline and Wren have to give; their Lysgaard blood line.

Rosaline must dig through her family’s long and sordid past to stop a centuries old curse from taking more lives. She must also sort through and deal with her own past; was the man in the shadows real, or a figment of her childhood imagination? Rosaline knows she doesn’t have a lot of time before the insanity that lingers in her DNA causes her and Wren to follow in their father’s footsteps




https://www.amazon.com/Dark-Inheritance-Renee-Lake-ebook/dp/B01NBE1LKQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1481841530&sr=8-1&keywords=Renee+lake

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/685693

Thursday, November 17, 2016

The Yellow Wall-Paper- an interesting short story about Postpartum Depression by Charlotte Perkins Gilman


The story depicts the effect of under stimulation on the narrator's mental health and her descent into psychosis. With nothing to stimulate her, she becomes obsessed by the pattern and color of the wallpaper.
You might wonder why this isn't being posted in my book review blog instead. It wasn't going to be, but the topic of this short story is much more along the lines of my personal blog.

I got this basically to just read The Yellow Wall-Paper and I highly recommend reading it. What I took away from it, and was validated by reading Chartlotte's essay "Why I wrote the Yellow Wall-Paper, wasn't that this was simply a story about a woman's decent into madness., but about a woman who was suffering post par-tum depression. Because of the time period her husband, the doctor,ignored and placed the label of "hysteria" upon her. Researching the author has found not only did she suffer from depression but also depression after the birth of her daughter and didn't care for the way women were treated.

The MC talks about not being able to deal with her baby and how she begins to hate everything she used to love and is tired all time. Her husband takes her to a house far away to "recover" but he's not actually treating her. He's making it worse by locking her away and not allowing her to really see people or do anything but sit around and stare out a window.

The MC's fascination with the awful wall paper is understandable, she has nothing else to do with her time and her mind in unwell.Her husband won't allow her any excitement or to even write in her journal. I have seen post- partum depression and it is scary, I have been lucky to not experience more than basic "baby blues" but I do suffer from depression and anxiety myself, the worst thing you can do is lock yourself away and give into the crazy thoughts in your mind.

This was an interesting, complicated and slightly horrific read. I took away a very sad but not uncommon ending, someone might take away something different.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, 11 to 20% of women who give birth each year have postpartum depression symptoms. If you settled on an average of 15% of four million live births in the US annually, this would mean approximately 600,000 women get PPD each year in the United States alone. -http://postpartumprogress.org/the-facts-about-postpartum-depression/

Symptoms:
Depressed mood or severe mood swings
Excessive crying
Difficulty bonding with your baby
Withdrawing from family and friends
Loss of appetite or eating much more than usual
Inability to sleep (insomnia) or sleeping too much
Overwhelming fatigue or loss of energy
Reduced interest and pleasure in activities you used to enjoy
Intense irritability and anger
Fear that you're not a good mother
Feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt or inadequacy
Diminished ability to think clearly, concentrate or make decisions
Severe anxiety and panic attacks
Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby
Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide


Btw- Women do commit suicide because of this condition it is serious. If you or a love ones have the signs of postpartum depression please get medical help or encourage help at once.

Thursday, November 10, 2016

What a Trump Presidency Means to Me


* I will not argue with Trump supporters here and you will not change my mind- so don't bother commenting just to argue or be an asshole. 

I thought about this for days. Would I write something? Should I write something? Could I even put into words how I feel?

I cried when Hillary lost- I cried the day after and My two year old son patted my head and asked, "Are you ok?"

When I told my 12 year old daughter Hillary lost, she just looked sad and said to me, "I guess America just really didn't want a female president." I couldn't argue with her. I saw way too many people hate on HRC because she was a woman.

I didn't cry because my candidate lost, that would be foolish. It goes so much deeper than politics. Had this been any other election and a Democrat lost to a Republican  I would take my medicine like a good girl, be a bit annoyed and move on.

But Donald Trump is not just another Republican candidate. He is a hate monger, a racist, a sexual predator and braggart. His campaign was filled with words that made people like the KKK and Putin back him.  He brought out the worst in the American people and was proud of it.

I get why he won- he spoke to Americans who think the system is broken and wanted a change.  However he never said HOW he would get them their change instead he just yelled a lot and his followers yelled back.

He is a billionaire that blue collar Americans think will change things, which I find ridiculous. He is like any other white rich man. He gets away with things no one else can including; paying less taxes and getting out of lawsuits. However, I do understand what the appeal was to many people, primarily middle class white baby boomers.

With his election the USA has basically been told it's ok to be racist and hateful. It's alright to use racial slurs, tell Muslims to not wear their Hijab and Hispanics that a wall is going up and they will all be sent "home". Don't believe me? It's all over the damn news already. It's on facebook, twitter, in schools, written on walls and being forced into people's faces.

Horrible Moments Since Trump Was Elected President

By electing such a man POTUS the USA has made it clear that minorities such as the LGBTQ community,  non- Christians, the disabled, women and people who are not white do not matter. People now live in fear.

Before you say, "stop being so dramatic" hear me out. People have a right to be afraid. This isn't simply a conservative president, this is a president who said all Muslims should be banned, that a wall that would cost billions of dollars should go up between us and Mexico, who said it was only "Locker room talk" when he bragged about how he could "Grab a woman by the pussy" without her consent. He can and will pass laws making it legal to discriminate against anyone he pleases and because the House and Senate are both red right now they will go along with most of it.

Goodbye Affordable Care Act
Goodbye Roe vs Wade
Goodbye SSI and Medicare
Goodbye Gay Marriage
Hello employers who can legally fire you for any reason they want.
Hello women dying from illegal abortions.

I am fearful, not only for myself but for my kids. All over the country, in the past few days, kids have been bullied at school for race an ethnicity.  My daughter's school district had to send out a warning because so many incidents were reported.   (BTW it is not ok to bully ANYONE for ANY reason. Even if they voted for Trump.)

http://www.salon.com/2016/11/10/a-donald-trump-presidency-may-provoke-more-bullying-in-schools/

http://www.ktvb.com/news/local/fourth-grader-told-to-pack-my-bags-after-election-rhetoric-reaches-classroom/350568745

http://fox13now.com/2016/11/09/granite-school-district-students-being-bullied-after-trump-wins-election/

Ever wonder how Nazi's took over Germany? It was because people looked the other way and believed lies.
"Adolf Hitler over powered Germany, by mastering rhetoric, the art of persuasion. He persuaded people by making speeches and putting on a show to “wow” people. For example when he made speeches at the Zeppelin field, he had installed hundreds of spotlights to go on while he made his speeches. As all the lights shine up, it was hard for people not to be impressed about such an event. As outsiders viewed it, they wanted to be a part of it because it looked so intriguing. Germany believed that Hitler wanted peace; little did they know he wanted to wipe out all of his political opponents and majority of the non-Aryan race people."
https://wordpress.philau.edu/europe2014/persuasion-of-hitler/

You know that it wasn't just practicing Jews that got taken to camps, right?  That even people whose families converted to Christianity  generations before were rounded up, sometimes people who didn't even know their Great Great whatever was Jewish.  Other minorities died in those camps too. It all started out as an idea the people of Germany weren't totally against and then blew up into something so large a war happened.
Non Jewish Holocaust Victims

Have you read A Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood? Well you should because it's not too far out there anymore. http://www.theverge.com/2014/12/20/7424951/does-the-handmaids-tale-hold-up-dystopia-feminism-fiction

It may seem far fetched to you, and I hope it is. I pray all my fears are irrational. I will be the first to eat crow should Trump become a great president and super nice guy.

But without proof of that here's a worse case scenario:

 Let's start with Mexicans.
First you start off with deporting people who were here illegally, then you move on to those with VISA's and revoke their VISA for some lame reason or another. Next you send away the children of illegals, those who were given citizenship under the Dream Act and also those who were born here. The government will simply pass laws to back this up, but by this time not much can be done about it and those that try- well we won't got into that.  Finally, because people are awful, it's anyone who is Hispanic/latino. Not only does the government no longer care if you're actually Mexican but the people in your neighborhoods won't either. One brown skinned person simply will simply look like the next.

Yes it sounds kind of crazy and conspiracy theory like. But then again, thousands of people voted for a man who convinced them he could actually get Mexico to fund the building a wall that would cost billions of dollars and that he could ban all Muslims from entering the USA.

America already has a history of putting people we don't trust in internment camps. The Japanese, and 2/3 of them were American citizens. While this was going on white Americans turned on pretty much anyone who was Asian. You can find many anecdotal accounts of Chinese, Vietnamese and Korean people being harassed during this time frame.
http://io9.gizmodo.com/george-takei-describes-his-experience-in-a-japanese-int-1533358984

You don't think Trump might decide Muslims deserve to be rounded up and interred in camps until ISIS or the conflict in the Middle East is contained? How long before he turns on anyone who isn't Christian? We may all be terrorists in disguise, right?  For me, this isn't far fetched.

I am Puerto Rican so my family has always been citizens (though it's surprising how many people don't know that.) However in the end it won't matter. I've never before worried so much about sending my very Hispanic looking 12 year old to school. Nor have a ever felt relieved that my 7 year old looks as white as she could get- until this week. Every time they come home from school I worry one of them will tell me they were bullied or threatened. As a parent I already worry so much and I already worry about bullying. I am sick to my stomach that my children are growing up in an environment where the President will be ok with hate and intolerance.

Do I hate my friends who voted for Trump? No, I don't always understand their reasons but I don't hate them. I mostly assume they don't think Trump will go through with his really bad ideas and choose to ignore his hate speech because of something else about him they liked. Also they mostly thought Hillary was a corrupt and vile person (that's a rant for another time). Do I understand how they could back someone who had his company sued twice by the justice department for refusing to rent to black people or who said, "When Mexico sends its people, they're not sending their best. They're not sending you. They're not sending you. They're sending people that have lots of problems, and they're bringing those problems with us. They're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime. They're rapists. And some, I assume, are good people." Yeah- not so much.

13 Racist Things Donald Trump has Said

I don't understand how a woman who has had NO criminal charges brought upon her is worse than a man who is currently going to trial for fraud and for raping a child in 1994. However I don't hate them, it is their right to vote for who they choose. I do however have a request:

If you did not respect Obama as president the past 8 years you cannot ask me to respect a man that I find this repulsive and vile. I cannot respect or endure a man who has had women come forward because he sexually assaulted them. (And don't argue with me over this. Women DO NOT come forward about sexual assault because they are treated as slutty liars when they do. Also I don't wanna hear about Bill Clinton cause Hillary is NOT responsible for her husband.)
http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/10/all-the-women-accusing-trump-of-rape-sexual-assault.html

In conclusion; I am sorry if you don't like what I've said or I've offended you. I'm sorry if you think I am a crazy liberal who is full of drama and butt hurt her candidate didn't get elected. Cause guess what? I am sorry for you- if you truly cannot see what a horrible monster has been elected to office and how awful things might get before they get better. I hope the glass house and bubble you live in never gets broken, because I've seen hate and discrimination my whole life. I don't want to see anymore for anyone.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Educate Yourself- LATE TERM ABORTION




After the last, and ridiculous, debate I saw sooo many people who just didn't understand late term abortion.  So many who believe babies are ripped out, cut up and brutally killed for NO GOOD REASON in the third trimester, people who think partial birth abortion is a thing in America.


So let's go through this- with some actual facts and not conservative christian hysterics.

1) LTA is only 1 % of all abortions and is an abortion that happens after 20 weeks. They are VERY expensive and most insurance companies will not pay for them.

2) Only so many states allow LTA, most restrict abortion in a crazy way. Most do not allow abortions after 25 weeks- which is considered when the fetus is viable. There are also only so many doctors who perform LTA, so most women must travel far from home to obtain them.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/tarahaelle/2016/10/20/no-late-term-abortions-dont-rip-babies-out-of-wombs-but-they-are-needed/#7b064b9e1bc4

3) Partial Birth Abortions were banned in 2003- they are no longer done and are in fact illegal. In fact the term is not even a real thing. What people are actually referring to is intact dilation and evacuation. http://reason.com/blog/2016/10/21/late-term-abortions-in-america-2016

 The procedure for LTA is as follows:

Twenty-four hours prior, the provider inserts a dilator into the patient's cervix. (This helps to open the cervix and reduce its risk of injury.) If the patient's pregnancy has passed 21 weeks + 6 days of gestation, an injection known as feticide is given to stop the fetus' heartbeat and ensure it isn't alive during the procedure.

An antibiotic is provided to help prevent infection. The patient either receives a numbing medication or is placed under general anesthesia.


When the procedure begins, a tenaculum is used to keep the cervix and uterus in place. The cervix is further dilated using cone-shaped rods of increasing size.


A cannula (long tube) is then inserted into the uterus. The cannula is attached to a bottle and a pump that provides a vacuum and evacuates tissue away from the uterine lining. If necessary, forceps may be used to remove larger pieces of tissue.


A curette (a curved surgical instrument) is used to scrape the lining to make sure no residual tissue is left behind. A final suctioning may also be performed.


 https://www.romper.com/p/how-are-late-term-abortions-performed-its-a-straightforward-medical-procedure-21008

Some women also have induced labor or c sections to deliver babies who have died or babies that will not survive after delivery. Yes- these are considered abortions as well.

However please note while hard to read about a D and X ("partial birth abortion") is actually safer than delivering a baby that will die by c-section. I know it's liberal but Huffington Post wrote a GREAT article about it and Kermit Gosnell- an abortionist that was sent to jail and wasn't a very nice man.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/term-and-partial-birth-abortions-the-mythical-arch-nemeses-of-the-anti-choice-movement_us_580d4427e4b02444efa3f33a


4) Infants having this procedure done do not feel pain. It has been scientifically studied that they have not yet develop the ability to feel pain.

5) No one is aborting babies that are healthy after 25 weeks. THIS IS A FACT. No abortions after 25 weeks takes place on healthy babies. If- like Trump said- a woman decided she didn't want to be a mother at 9 months. They would not kill the baby, they would simply deliver it and it would go to the state and into the system to be adopted. Most states make it illegal to have a LTA without a physician backing proof of a problem. You cannot go to an abortion clinic at 28 weeks, stroll in and say, "I want an abortion." That's just not how it works.
https://www.guttmacher.org/state-policy/explore/state-policies-later-abortions

6) Women that have late term abortions are having them for one of two reasons a) because they have been told they will die if they give birth or b) because a fatal fetal anomaly has been found- meaning the fetus is not compatible with life and will either die after being born or survive a short time with severe disabilities. Most women want their babies at this stage. Here are some articles about women who actually had a late term abortion:

Second Trimester Abortion
Fuck You Donald Trump
Abortion at 23 weeks
Utah Late Term Abortion
thanatophoric dysplasia,
32 Week Abortion


7) Hilary Clinton is not saying abortions should be granted to women at 9 months with a healthy and viable baby. She is saying women who get drastic news late into their pregnancies deserve the chance to make a choice for their body- what they think is best. Honestly it isn't any one else business.  Until you've been faced with this horrible situation who are you to judge anyone else? I won't rant about abortion before 20 weeks because you can go back and look at my opinions on that is you really want to.

 I am 29 weeks pregnant. So far the ultrasounds and reports have all been good. But I know at any time a doctor could come to me and tell me that my V has developed some horrible condition where he will die painfully before he's two, or won't even draw his first breath once he's out of my protective womb. I could develop a condition where I will die if I go any further into my pregnancy and they won't even be able to deliver me safely. I have three other children and a husband who need me around. As heart breaking as it would be I would choose a LTA over some of the other horrible options.  So please- before you listen to a man like Trump- educate yourself. Read peer reviewed articles and scientific journals. Get the facts. LTA is rare, it's uncommon and it's only carried out in dire circumstances.


Monday, October 10, 2016

"Grab em by the Pussy!" Locker Room Talk



(Warning- any comments about Bill/Hillary Clinton will be deleted. This post is NOT about Trump vs Hillary or about what Bill Clinton may or may not have done or any comparison. So if that's the only argument you've got, please take it elsewhere.)

I've been thinking for a few days about what I was going to write on this topic. I started thinking about it when that heinous video came out of Trump saying more awful, disgusting, crude things about women and then after watching the debate I knew I had to say something.

If you haven't seen it yet: here, but be warned it is triggering and graphic

http://money.cnn.com/2016/10/07/media/access-hollywood-donald-trump-tape/index.html

http://time.com/4523972/donald-trumps-comment-root-sexual-violence/

A quote from Time that gives you the gist if you don't want to watch it:

Trump was caught on tape talking with the Today Show’s Billy Bush (at the time, Bush was at Access Hollywood), and Trump brags that because he’s famous, he could do whatever he wanted to women, and was able to “grab them by the pussy” at his leisure. He likes kissing beautiful women, he says, and so just does it when he wants (“I don’t even wait,” he says – suggesting that he does in fact realize he should have a woman’s consent to kiss her, but feels fine about forcing it). While trying to get a married woman to sleep with him he “moved on her like a bitch.”

I have been told more than once (and by Trump himself at last night's debate) that his horrible statements about grabbing a woman by the pussy and kissing her without consent are simply locker room talk and dirty talk. That all men talk like this, in fact all people talk like this at one time or another.

What a sick and awful way to try and rationalize this particular set of statements. It doesn't matter if it was 11 years ago or if it was yesterday. The fact remains that Donald Trump does not respect women and aside from arm candy and sex he doesn't like us very much either. If, and that's a big if, this was the only degrading thing he'd said about women and he gave a genuine apology I could get past it, but not only is it NOT the only horrible thing Trump has said about women, he couldn't even apologize for it properly.

Here are just a few of the things Trump has said about women:

May of 2013- Twitter
26,000 unreported sexual assults in the military-only 238 convictions. What did these geniuses expect when they put men & women together?

2011
That a journalist who needed to pump her breast milk was disgusting

A 2006 interview with Larry King
“[Angelina Jolie’s] been with so many guys she makes me look like a baby... And, I just don’t even find her attractive,”

In 2015 on CNN
Implying Megyn Kelly was only giving him a hard time because she was on her period.
"blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her... wherever."

In 2012- Twitter
@ariannahuff is unattractive both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man- he made a good decision.

Every comment about Ivanka, his daughter. In 2004 he actually called her a piece of ass.

In 1996 he called a Miss America winner fat and complained about the 15 pounds of weight she gained.

None of these comments are appropriate, especially not from someone trying to become president of the United States. At no time has Trump recanted and begged the American people to forgive his sexist and disgusting habit of degrading women. I can see if he just wanted to remain a rich douche bag with an ugly casino and stupid TV show, he could say all of this, and it would still be gross and inappropriate, but women of the United States wouldn't have to be as worried about the message he was sending. Once he decided to step into the political arena this behavior needed to end. (Honestly it should never have started but I guess that was asking for too much from someone like this.)

And his half assed apology? It might have been OK if he then hadn't backed it up with all the "it's just locker room talk" bull shit. He needed to show real remorse- but he didn't, because he doesn't feel any.

This is not how a man speaks about a woman, at least not a decent man. Do men sexualize women in private? Sure, women do it too! I've said some crude things in my life, I've heard innuendos and sex jokes from my friends. I've had a filthy mouth since I was 15. But not once have I made a comment about how it's my right to take consent away from another person, that I should have the ability to kiss, fondle, touch or fuck anyone without their consent. His words come from a sense of entitlement because he is rich and famous.

Trump's statements are almost like he is admitting to sexual assault. I have never heard anyone I respect and care for speak this way about another person. In fact many men have come out to say his locker room excuse is just crap, that they and their friends would never say anything like that. This includes major sports players.

Had Trump been recorded saying, "Man I like to kiss girls, there is nothing like a tight pussy. That bitch was seriously hot." I would be grossed out; 1) Because he wants to be president and 2) Because he is yucky. But hey, those would be his opinions on sex, hopefully sex with a consenting adult. That would actually be "dirty talk." Maybe not respectful, but he can talk like that, if he wants. It's not pretty but humans like to use their words- even when those words are not very nice. (These were also grown adults mic'd and being recorded, not two drunk guys talking in their basement.)

His comments about and towards women are not OK. They are, unfortunately, becoming typical of what I see in the news. As a people Americans need to re learn about consent. You do not touch someone without their say so. This is not difficult and it is not something to joke about. No one owes you physical contact. Women are equal to men, we deserve the same respect, tolerance, pay and rights. Every day I hear another story about a woman being groped, raped, assaulted or cat called and I am disheartened by it.

I won't pretend objectification doesn't happen from men and women, because it does. It's not good and everyone deserves respect. I know I've probably done it, even not intentionally and that thought shames me. We need to be aware of it though, so that the conversation can change.

Mr. Trump- I get it- you thrive on conflict, you have a persona of being a hard core douche wheel who gets what he wants when he wants it. But you owe America and especially it's women a true apology and you need to eat crow....What's more you need to look deep down inside yourself and change how you view and act in regards to the female population. Then and only then would I consider you not a major threat to me, my daughters and the other women I care about.





Thursday, September 29, 2016

Friends and Fictional Characters



So a fun and interesting meme went around facebook the past few weeks. Pick three fictional characters you think represent yourself.  I really enjoyed this light heartedness, especially after the debate and the shootings and well.. basically everything that has been shitty in the word as of late.

So I decided, what fictional characters would I make my friends and family? A challenge and something fun. So if you know me in real like you may find yourself listed here. I couldn't think of someone for everyone, so I apologize if I left you out.  Oh and- please don't be insulted if you don't like my choice. They were not meant in anything but love and humor.  Let me know in the comments who YOU would be or if you would have picked someone different.




Melissa
Donna Noble


Stephanie
Liz Lemon

Tot
Hermione Granger



Chris
Ned from Pushing Daisies


Katie

Gabrielle from Xena (first three seasons only)



Petty
Tim the Tool Man from Home Improvement

Mom
Mrs. Huxtable 



Tiffini

Irene Adler from Sherlock



Susie
Britta from Community




Lia
Animal the Muppet



Mary
Aeryn from Farscape



Sheila

Deanna Troi



And the three I had chosen for myself?





Thursday, September 15, 2016

Available for Pre-Order- The Adventures of Princess Firecracker and Sir Hye Oye



My newest novel comes out October 25th 2016. It is a middle grade fiction novel and will be for sale on kindle, nook, ebook and in paper back.

Now you can read the original here on my blog, it's in four parts, however the novel version has quite a few changes and edits.

My best friend Katie is illustrating the inside and the outside picture is by a lovely artist Ella Aleschenko from Shutterstock.
https://www.amazon.com/Adventures-Princess-Firecracker-Sir-Hye-ebook/dp/B01LEAOUFA/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1473975253&sr=8-2&keywords=renee+lake#nav-subnav

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/31702530-the-adventures-of-princess-firecracker-and-sir-hye-oye



One the morning of her 12th birthday Princess Firecracker wakes in her castle. Aside from her talking cat Sir Hye Oye, she is alone. Like all royalty before her she is to go on a journey through her kingdom and find her family; in only three days’ time. She must make the trip relying on her wits and charismatic personality. Along the way she faces many trials and meets a host of colorful characters, some who offer help and others who do not. In the end she learns much more about herself than she knew before.


Monday, August 29, 2016

The Continuing Adventures of Princess Fire Cracker and Sir Hye Oye- The End




No part of this may be copied or used without written consent from the author Renee Lake
Copy right 2016 Renee Lake
All Rights Reserved


If you would like to own an illustrated copy of The Adventures of Princess Fire Cracker and Sir Hye Oye, it will be available for purchase by amazon and smashwords the end of October.


Part One

Part Two

Part Three


Part Four

“I am so tired!” Hye Oye whined again for the tenth time, they’d been walking for a little over an hour.

“Me too, but I know we’re not far now.” Ficra said, trying to smile. She was so done with this journey. She was hungry, thirsty, weary and her feet hurt. Her grandparent’s kingdom was beautiful- but it was also rocky and full of hills.

The grass was a lush deep green and there were golden trees everywhere, shining in the sun. She could smell the evergreen flowers, their minty scent filling the air, but all her feet cared about was the steep path and the rocks underneath.

“It’s colder here than at home.” Hye Oye complained.

“I know, but I am sure a great feast awaits us.” At least she hoped so, she also hoped a foot massage and a warm bed would follow the food.

“Don’t say feast, my stomach is growling.” Hye Oye said. They came to the top of the hill and Ficra stopped, wishing she still had her walking stick to lean on.

She could see a lot of her grandparent’s kingdom from the hill, including the top towers of a green and gold castle.
“Look! We’re almost there!”

“You said that already.”

“But I can see it!” Ficra pointed, feeling an intense surge of relief. Eyes straying down the path she also saw what looked like the start of civilization, a town or village. Maybe they could get a ride to the castle gates?

“Wait, do you hear that?” Hye Oye asked, his whole body becoming still, ears perking. Ficra listened closely, but she heard nothing.

“No, what?”

“Crying…”

“Crying? Well let’s go see who it is.” Ficra said.

“Do we have to, we are so close to food, and a roof.” Hye Oye sat and began to clean himself, pretending to be uninterested.

“If there is someone crying we should try and see if we can help. Which way?” Ficra asked, her cat turned his face and refused to say more. Ficra stomped her foot and gave him a look her mother used on people all the time.

Giving a great huff Hye Oye stopped licking himself and started off down the east side of the hill, away from the path.

Ficra crawled over some giant blue stones and under a few fallen trees before she saw a stream, crystal clear and running very fast. Sitting next to it was a girl, the ugliest girl Ficra had ever seen. She was hunched over with a large nose, stringy black hair and yellow tinted skin. Large bat like wings protruded from her humped back.

“What is that smell?” Hye Oye asked. Ficra shushed him.

“Hello, I heard you crying. Are you ok?” Ficra called out, taking a few steps forward. The girl looked up, her eyes were large and brown, mouth wide and full of sharp crooked teeth.

“No, I’m not ok, go away.” She snarled.

“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. She looks like a fey creature.” Hye Oye whispered. Ficra was having the same thought.

“Well, it’s just that…if you’re sad, maybe I can help?” Ficra thought, at least I should try.

“Why would you help me, don’t you want to run away?” The girl asked, turning to face Ficra.

“Kind of…what’s your name? I’m Ficra.”

“I’m Addie and I… I think I’m lost.”

“Then I can help you!” Ficra was relieved, she knew the Kingdom of Generosity very well and if all else failed she’d take Addie to the castle with her.

“Why though? Don’t you know what I am?” Addie’s eyes narrowed.

“Ummm, a fairy of some kind?”

“A bat fairy!” Hye Oye hissed, moving behind Ficra, “they bring bad luck!”

“We don’t do it on purpose.” Addie sniffled.

“I’m not worried about bad luck.” Ficra said, trying to sound braver than she felt.

“Well I am.” Hye Oye muttered.

“Let me help you, where do you need to go?” Ficra asked.

“I am supposed to meet my sister outside of Bountyville by sunset, but all these gold trees make everything look the same and I lost the map she gave me.” Addie began to cry again, into her thin brittle hands.

“Please don’t cry!” Ficra moved closer to Addie and handed her the last handkerchief in her sleeve, which Addie proceed to blubber into and then blow her nose.

“Sorry,” Addie dried her eyes and tried to hand back the now grey cloth.

“Please, keep it.” Ficra said, she did not want that back now, “Bountyville is not far from here.” In fact it was on the opposite side of her grandparent’s castle! Using rocks and twigs Ficra made a make shift map on the ground and gave Addie detailed instructions on where to go. By the time she was finished Addie was smiling.

“Thank you Ficra! I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come along!” Addie gave Ficra a big hug, Ficra held her breath but hugged her new friend back.

“You’re welcome.” Ficra said, she went over to Hye Oye and scratched her cat between the ears, thankful he had made no other sarcastic remarks and been a good kitty while she helped the poor bat fey.

“How can I ever repay you?” Addie asked, standing up and stretching her wings.

“It was no problem. But if you’re ever in the Kingdom of Friendship feel free to stop by, I live in the big castle on the hill.” Ficra said, smiling. She began to walk away when Hye Oye froze, blocking her path.

“Ficra…” He warned. She turned around, Addie was covered in a deep red mist, swirling all over her body.

“A bat fey thing?” Ficra asked, hopefully.

“No…” Addie said, but her voice had changed, “a mom thing.” Suddenly where Addie once stood was Ficra’s mother; Queen Rainbird. She was a tall handsome woman with black curly hair and large ebony eyes, she wore a beautiful red gown and a sparkling golden crown.

“Mother!” Ficra exclaimed.

“Queen Rainbird!” Hye Oye bowed, front paws out, head to the ground.

“Firecracker, daughter, you have made me and your father so proud.” Rainbird said, coming closer to her daughter.

“I didn’t do anything.” Ficra argued.

“You completed your journey through the kingdoms and acted in a very princess like manner. You showed all the qualities a princess should have. You were; humble, kind, smart, generous, helpful and charitable.” Rainbird embraced her daughter.

“So I passed my test?”

“Yes, my sweet, you passed your test. Now let’s go to your grandparents.”

“Can we eat once we get there?” Hye Oye asked. Mother and daughter looked down at the large cat and laughed.


The End





Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Why is there no Bottle Feeding Awareness Month?




This month is Breast Feeding Awareness month and because I am 17 weeks pregnant I am a little more hormonal that I should have been.

Don't get me wrong, I support breast feeding, but I also support any way you choose to feed your baby. Whether that's breast, bottle, pump, tube- it doesn't matter as long as your baby is getting fed.

A photographer posted some rather beautiful pictures of women breast feeding a day or so before BFAM  and I commented how lovely they were and inquired whether she had any of mothers bottle feeding their babies, or if she could-in the future- take some. As a mother who struggled with BF and wound up bottle feeding all three of her kids, sometimes I feel sad or left out of the community of women who are able to feed their baby by breast.

The women who took the pictures instantly put up a bottle feeding picture for me, which I expressed gratitude for. Immediately after another mother told me asking about bottle feeding during Breast Feeding Awareness month is like going to a Black history month page and asking why no one is celebrating White history. Not only was this in poor taste, but it's not accurate and not similar AT ALL.

So many mothers struggle with breast feeding. It hurts, they don't produce enough, it's time consuming, they don't like it...etc...etc.. There are many reasons for a woman to not BF and that is her decision. One she should not be shamed for or pressured about. I can't tell you how many times I have been told, "you really should breast feed, breast is best." By women (some even nurses) who don't know me, don't know my kids and certainly don't know the struggles I've had while trying to breast feed.

Bottle feeding is not only easier for me and more convenient (I work and have multiple children) but also prevents me from feeling like a failure. I don't produce enough milk to feed my children and my nipples are very small which means I have to use plastic nipple shield over my tiny ones to help my babies latch. This is very time consuming and uncomfortable.

I understand why we need breast feeding awareness, when moms are being asked to feed in public toilets this is a HUGE problem.  Breast feeding is normal and natural. However, instead of one month totally devoted to breast feeding awareness we need a week/month that simply celebrates all ways of feeding your baby. So that no one group of mothers (or even single dads!) need feel shame or left out.

No one celebrates Bottle Feeding Awareness, ( and I honestly don't expect this to ever be a thing) us bottle feeding moms are ignored at best and looked at with scorn at worse. No one wants to hear our stories or see beautiful pictures of us with our babies. Everyone talks about how breast is best and look at all the great things your child gets if they are breast fed, making it sound like bottle fed kids are lacking. What we really need to be doing is supporting all mothers no matter what way they choose to feed their babies.

There is no us and them- it is all inclusive; feeding our babies in that way which is best for our families.

This blog is all about how mothers need to be supportive of each other and not tear each other down. Bottle feeders need to know that breast feeding moms are also treated like crap and breast feeding moms need to not assume they are the only ones being given negative comments.

Here are some links for moms who feel like I do.

Fearless Formula Feeder

Fed Is Best

Pictures of all kinds of moms feeding their babies





Friday, July 22, 2016

The Continuing Adventures of Princess Fire Cracker and Sir Hye Oye Part 3



No part of this may be copied or used without written consent from the author Renee Lake
Copy right 2016 Renee Lake
All Rights Reserved


Part One

Part Two



“How far are we from The Kingdom of Generosity?” Hye Oye asked, stretching out beside Ficra on the bed, admiring the cozy room with its pale walls and frilly blue curtains.

“Well if we can get a ride, then about one day.” Ficra was eating a big breakfast of bacon, eggs and tea. The Inn Keeper, John, and his wife, Laura, had been excited to see them and quite helpful, providing room and board for the night.
Originally she had tried to pay them for the bed and food, but had been told her grandparents had already taken care of it. Apparently they had given money to every inn in the kingdom, just in case.

“We’d better get a move on, I don’t want to waste the morning.” Ficra finished her last bite of egg and gave the bacon to Hye Oye. She quickly bathed and dressed in clean underwear and a yellow sweater, putting back on her leggings and boots. She packed up the purple robe and pulled it over her head.

She brushed her hair and teeth, yanking her brown hair into a pony tail. Her walking stick leaned against the door, she grabbed it and left the comfortable bedroom, making her way down stairs.

“Princess Firecracker! Are you leaving us so soon?” Laura bustled over, a thin tall woman in a black dress with a silver apron.

“I have to get to my grandparent’s castle.”

“Are you walking?” Laura asked.

“A ride would be nice, but I’ll walk if I have to.” Ficra said.

“I am sure someone could offer you a ride.” Laura handed her a wrapped parcel, “It’s a water bottle, some beef jerky and a muffin.”
“Thank you.” Ficra gave the kind woman a hug.

“I could be persuaded to take you.” A harsh voice said from the corner of the room. The first floor of the inn was a dark dining room filled with tables and the smells of people and cooking.

“Leave her alone Anders.” Laura said crossly.

“No, it’s alright.” Ficra turned towards the voice. The speaker was a robust older man with white hair, spoking a pipe.

“I am going home today and for the right price I could make a quick detour and drop you at the border.” He folded his arms over his chest.

“Anders is from the Kingdom of Selfishness.” Laura whispered, “He comes this way a few times a year to trade.”

“Stingy bastard.” One of the other patrons said loudly, Anders only laughed.

“I don’t have much money left.” Ficra said.

“I don’t want your money.”

“Then what?” Ficra asked.

“Princess we can find someone nicer to take you, don’t listen to Anders.” Laura said, placing her hand on Ficra’s shoulder.

“Not today you won’t, no one’s going that close to the Kingdom of Generosity for a few days, not with the fair in town.” Anders told them.

“It’s true Laura, but the Princess is welcome to stay here as long as she needs to.” John said, coming from the kitchens. He was a tiny man, balding with a big smile and covered in flour.

“But John! Anders wants the princess to pay!” Laura exclaimed.

“Nothing she can’t afford.” Anders said.

“Well, it’s up to you, Princess.” John said.

Ficra squared her shoulders, “I have to leave today, so what do you want?”

“That fancy walking stick.” Anders answered. Ficra’s face fell, not the walking stick! Her father had made it for her, it was special!

“We can still walk, we technically have two more days.” Hye Oye said. Ficra looked down at her companion and considered his words. What would her parents do?

“Deal.” Ficra looked up and noticed her words shocked not only Anders but the whole room.

“Princess…” Laura tried to warn her.

“It’s fine, it’s only a walking stick after all. Maybe Anders could use it more than I.”

Anders stood up, “alright then, Princess, let’s get going.”

She followed him out of the inn after thanking Laura and John for their hospitality. Anders had a nice cart with four horses. She and Hye Oye got in the back and settled in with the rest of his goods.

“Now I ain’t stopping unless I want to, ya hear?” Anders growled from the front seat.

“That’s fine, thanks so much for the ride.” Ficra said, though she was finding it hard to be polite to him.

“I could eat him for you. I think.” Hye Oye’s voice was soft so Anders couldn’t hear. Ficra suppressed a giggle and shook her head no.

The ride took most of the day, Anders didn’t say much and what he did say was not pleasant so Ficra didn’t try talking to him.
They only stopped once, by a river, while the horses drank. Ficra brought out her last sandwich, and an apple. She gave Hye Oye the jerky.

Anders eyed her food, frowning.

“Do you not have any lunch?” Ficra asked, Anders shook his head no.

“You can have some of mine.” She offered. Anders immediately grabbed both the sandwich and the apple and began gobbling them up.

“Hey!” Hye Oye roared at the man, “She said some, not all!”

“I’m giving you a ride, right?” Anders said around a mouth full of food.

“Ignore him Hye Oye.” Ficra said, her mouth thin and eyes wide, soon after they were back on the rocky road to the Kingdom of Generosity.

Ficra held back her tears as her stomach growled, she thought by sharing her lunch Anders might be kinder to her, maybe not so grumpy, but she had been wrong.

“He’s a real jerk.” Hye Oye said.

She could only nod, her throat burned and she felt like if she spoke she would cry. Her parents would want to her be polite to Anders, especially since he was doing her a favor. The ride, after all, was only costing her some food and her walking stick. He was going out of his way.

“You have a muffin and cookies, eat those.” Hye Oye said, laying his big head in her lap. She stroked between his ears, feeling better as he started to purr.

“No, he might think I owe him those too.” She whispered.

The rest of the trip passed in, blissful, silence. Ficra enjoyed watching the countryside go by, she waved at people she saw and laid back, looking at the clear blue sky, enjoying the warmth of the sun and cool breezes.

Finally they reached the boarder to her grandparent’s kingdom. The Kingdom of Selfishness, Friendship and Generosity all met in this one spot. Ficra thought it was interesting how the Selfishness part didn’t look any different from the other kingdoms, well, not until you got to know the people living there, that is.

“Alright Princess, this is as far as I take you. It’s about an hour out of my way from home.” Anders said, not even looking at her.

Ficra and Hye Oye got out, she left her walking stick in the back of the cart. She felt sad as she took one last look at it, maybe her father could make her another one. Her stomach was empty and achy and not just from lack of food.

“Thanks again for the help.” Ficra told him.

“No thanks needed, just leave that beautiful stick.” Anders said.

“I did. I hope you have a good day.”

“Whatever.” Anders made a clicking noise with his mouth and the horses began to pull the cart away. Once the cart was out of sight Ficra and Hye Oye found a nice patch of dark green grass to sit in.

“What a big jerk.” Hye Oye said, he began to clean himself.

“His life must be sad indeed to be that angry all the time and that horrible.” Ficra sighed and pulled out the muffin, grateful Laura had packed it. She was awful hungry.

“You were too nice to him.”

“What would being mean to him have gotten us?” Ficra asked, drinking some water.

“Satisfaction?”

“More like ditched on the side of the road.” Ficra finished eating and stood up, stretching. It was only a few hours walk to her grandparent’s castle and Ficra wanted to get there in time for dinner.

As she and Hye Oye began walking they didn’t see the half dozen tiny bats watching her from the trees.




Friday, July 15, 2016

Black Lives Matter and Yes So Do All Other Lives





So I've taken a few days before writing this, one because it's such a hot topic and two because I wanted to be sure of what to write.

First off let me state this:

Yes, all lives matter, yes blue lives matter, but right now we need to focus on black lives matter.

Yes, I grieve the police officers in Dallas, no one, whether cop or black person should be murdered, it is NOT ok.

Yes, I understand not all policemen are bigoted shoot first ask questions later douche wads. Many are great people, with amazing values, who are not racists and hate injustice.

Now onto the rest.


Black people are treated differently in the USA, they are looked upon as criminals, hoods, and second class. I know what that's like to an extent, as a woman, I get treated differently than my white Mormon husband.

I have friends with bi-racial kids who have had to talk to them about being respectful to police and doing what is told of them within reason, but to always remember that because they are black they are more likely to be harassed or shot than treated like a white person. How is that a lesson a child should learn?

I watched that video of Alton Sterling being shot, I watched both of them. It was murder, plain and simple. I watched him get pinned to the ground, he struggled a bit- but does that mean he should be killed?-NO.

I watched as they realized he had a gun, but it wasn't in his hand and a police officer pulled out his own gun and shot him point blank: FOR NO REASON. Then, in horror, I watched as the police officers decided not to do any sort of cpr and instead pulled the dead man's gun OUT OF HIS POCKET.- Nothing about this is ok and if you think it is you are part of the problem. It doesn't matter if he had misdemeanors or if he was selling boot legged cds, that doesn't mean he deserved to die.

Too many times I see this same scenario on the news. Suspicious black person- well he or she must be a bad guy let's just kill em. It makes me fear cops and makes me want to tell my kids to make sure they don't get in trouble, not because trouble is bad, but because I don't want an over zealous cop to kill my kid. I am half Puerto Rican and if I feel this way I can only imagine what the black community must feel.



We've come very far in our country in regards to equality, but it is still lacking in many areas. White privilege is a real thing and if you don't think so- guess what- you have been on the receiving end of it.

African Americans represent 26% of Americans who live in poverty, this is compared to 10% of white people. That's not because they are lazy or stupid or criminals. It's because they do not get the same chances as white people. They don't get offered the same jobs, or the same pay. They are treated like second class citizens, just like women. And Goddess save you if you are a black woman.

In 2015 33% of African Americans had a 2 year degree compared to 47% of  white people.
In 2012 African American men had a median income of less than 40k while white men's yearly income held an average of over 50k.  Don't get me started on women, those numbers are depressing.

The white unemployment rate is under 5 % as of February 2016, however for African Americans that rate is almost doubled at just under 9%. - that's not including all the African American's currently residing in US prisons.

1 in every 15 African Americans are in prison compared to 1 in 106 white- this is shocking- especially since there are more white people in the USA than black. I guess you could roll your eyes and say, "well maybe they commit more crimes." That is simply not true, the black community is treated more harshly than the white community. I could rant and rant about this, but instead here are some nice articles, educate yourself.

https://www.americanprogress.org/issues/race/news/2012/03/13/11351/the-top-10-most-startling-facts-about-people-of-color-and-criminal-justice-in-the-united-states/

http://www.naacp.org/pages/criminal-justice-fact-sheet

It all boils down to this:
If a black person and a white person each commit a crime, the black person is more likely to be arrested. This is due in part to the fact that black people are more heavily policed.

Something needs to change- and by change I don't mean cop killing- again (and why I have to repeat myself) DON'T KILL EACH OTHER, THIS IS NOT THE SOLUTION.

I don't actually know what the solution is. I do know police officers need to use their guns as a last resort, it's why they have tasers. They need to listen and not fear members of the black community.  I know white people need to admit that they have white privilege and black people need to help educate us on the racism they see every day. We all need to have patience and love towards one another and respect our races, religion, sex, gender, and individual rights.

To end this blog I leave you with a quote from Deb Besinger and this article she wrote:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/experiencing-racism-as-a-white-mom-who-adopted-black_us_5782449ce4b0f06648f517de

"The bottom line is this: of course all lives matter, of course all policemen matter ― and to support one or all of these things doesn’t mean you are against the other. 
However, to be offended by BLACK LIVES MATTER is a glaring representation that YOU don’t get it."



Thursday, June 9, 2016

Get Up to 40% OFF At ModCloth


*This post contains affiliate links and I will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking through my links.
I love mod cloth, especially their plus size vintage! I got some awesome pink celestial leggings I wear all the time!

Get up to 40% off fresh deals for sunny days

Sunday, May 15, 2016

One of Utah's Biggest Embarrassments- Porn, Fetal Pain and Transgender Bathroom Issues







So all over my social media feeds in the last few months has been a surprising amount of fear mongering, uneducated statements and bigotry. Basically just a bunch of ridiculousness. And a lot of it is in Utah, where I live, and a lot of it is being said/done by Governor Herbert.

Let's start off with the earliest of what I find to be three bad choices in the past few months.

1)Utah Gov. Gary Herbert signs resolution calling porn a 'health hazard"

First off, please....This is what Utah people should worry about? Not our homeless problem or the fact we didn't take the Medicaid expansion? I mean my sick sister who doesn't have a job cannot get Medicaid unless she deals with disability, even though she has an illness that means she cannot work and needs to take 100's of dollars in medication every month. Yet-she does not qualify for Medicaid in Utah.

Kids are still starving here, there are SO many other things that could be called a health hazard. Like, for instance, the rise in STD's because children are taught abstinence only and getting birth control is harder than it should be. Or the high teen pregnancy rate, also because of the latter.

Can porn be an issue? Yes, when you are dealing in harmful pornography like kiddie porn or snuff films. Or if your relationship is suffering from it.  I know a ton of people who watch porn and are not awful sexual sadists out for their next "score." I think the Meth problem in Utah is more deserving of time and attention, or how bout the binge drinking that happens here?

When you try to limit what people can do, that's when they will do whatever they can TO DO IT.

Example: State Liquor stores and so many Mormons constantly telling you (whether directly or not) that alcohol is a big bad evil and you should NEVER drink it and if you are going to drink it stock up now cause the store will be closed from 10pm to 10 am every day, all day on Sundays and Holidays. Once people break away from their religious up bringing most hit the booze and hit it hard. I can't tell you how many ex Mormons I know with drinking problems.

Porn is the same way. You tell people it's evil and they are supposed to not only ignore the urge to masturbate but also not look at nudie pictures and BAM what's the first thing a boy does at 18? Get himself some of that awful porn because hey, if mom and day and the GOVERNMENT say it's horrible it must be some really good shit, right? Of course right.

You want porn "addiction" to stop? You stop making porn and masturbation a taboo subject.  It's not any where close to a health crisis, and honestly? Makes Utah look really stupid.

Articles of interest

Your Porn Addiction Isn’t Real
Your Brain on Porn - It's NOT Addictive
5 Ways to Navigate a Relationship in a Porn-Saturated World
Porn is not a bad thing, but letting fantasy impact reality is



2)Governor signs ‘fetal pain’ bill into law


In Utah women having abortions over 20 weeks will now be required to have anesthetic or analgesic administered to the fetus.  This law is bullshit, another way for the GOP to control women and punish them for having sex.

a) There is NO scientific proof that a fetus at this stage has developed the ability to feel pain.

b) There is no procedure for giving a fetus pain killers. One doctor against this law even stated the Governor is basically asking her to perform experiments on her patients.

c) Women rarely get abortions this late and when they do it is a traumatic experience because it means the mother has been given a terminal diagnosis for either the fetus or herself.

d) Now an expensive procedure is even more expensive.

e) There is no law stating that a fetus or baby must be given anesthetic or analgesic during birth and that process would be painful too, don't you think?

f) Women sometimes get pain killers for an abortion over 20 weeks. With basic science about pregnancies that means pain killers the mom takes? Well they cross the placenta and the baby gets them too.

"Little or no evidence addresses the effectiveness of direct fetal anesthetic or analgesic techniques," according to the research in JAMA. "Similarly, limited or no data exist on the safety of such techniques for pregnant women in the context of abortion. Anesthetic techniques currently used during fetal surgery are not directly applicable to abortion procedures."


Here are some articles, educate yourself

When Can Fetuses Feel Pain? Utah Abortion Law and Doctors Are at Odds
Utah plays doctor, legislates anesthesia for abortions at 20 weeks and beyond
Fetal Pain Report


3)Gov. Herbert: ‘we will not hesitate’ to fight order on transgender students’ bathroom access

President Obama and the Department of Education and Justice sent a letter out stating that schools with Transgender students must allow those student to use that bathroom of their gender association. Which means what gender they are, not what sex organs they were born with.  Of course our Governor is going to try and push back against this. Mainly because he's republican and not because any actually facts back him up.

People need to get over their fear of the Transgender community. First off educate yourself on the difference between biological sex and gender identity and secondly understand that a transgender girl is not using the bathroom with your precious daughters and shoving a penis at them. In fact trans-gender people, especially women are some of the most harassed, bullied and most likely to be raped and murdered. In fact because of their transgender status they probably won't undress in front of your special snowflakes (and even if they do, get over it) and they won't appreciate being spied on to see if they have the "right parts."

This is just like all the freak outs about the transgender community using public bathrooms. If a pervert wants to molest a child, it won't matter if there is a law stating he/she cannot go into the bathroom of the opposite sex. They will do it any way. Transgender people are not perverts out to rape your wives and daughters and there is NO proof that a law stating they can use the bathroom of their associated gender will cause MORE perverts to crawl out of the wood work.

If YOU are the one worried about someone else's genital YOU are the pervert not the lady peeing in the stall next to you.

I have a daughter about to start middle school. Know what I told her? "Be kind to everyone, especially if they are different than you." "Do not look at anyone genitals, all you should care about are your own."  "Unless you see someone in danger or you are in danger mind your own business in the bathroom and locker room."

I've seen a ton of parents threatening to pull their kids from school if Utah obeys the President. To them I say two things.
1) Good, less bigots-in-training to hang around my kids
2) Have fun home schooling, go look up some of the awful things that happen to home-schooled kids including, molestation, rape and other forms of abuse. Plus good luck with working while you do so, cause home schooling is a LOT more work than people think.

Points of Interest


When A Transgender Person Uses A Public Bathroom, Who Is At Risk?
15 Experts Debunk Right-Wing Transgender Bathroom Myth
9 key questions about being transgender (Kind of for dummies but gives great answers!)


Hope Everyone had a great weekend! Thanks for reading!

Friday, April 22, 2016

Modcloth Mother's Day Sale!

*This post contains affiliate links and I will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking through my links. 



“[Motherhood is] the biggest gamble in the world. It is the glorious life force. It’s huge and scary–it’s an act of infinite optimism.” —Gilda Radner

ModCloth

Shop at Modcloth this Mother's Day and find the perfect gift for that special lady in your life!
I love Modcloth, they have such a good selection.

Maybe some cute leggings or a top? A dress or some funky shades? Even a gift card is a great option.

I love that they have plus sizes and normal sizes in pretty much all their styles.

Their new spring/summer collections are really hip and fresh! Go now and shop for great fashion pieces at wonderful prices!

“It’s a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful.” —Roald Dahl



Shop Mother's Day gifts from ModCloth!

Find unique jewelry perfect for Mother's Day from ModCloth

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Spot Light Post: Kimberlee Kelley with Younique



Today is a spotlight post for Kimberlee who sells Younique cosmetics. Please give her your full attention :)


Love it. Share it. Live it.

Uplift. Empower. Validate.


Name: Kimberlee Kelley

What is it that you do?:

I'm a Presenter for Younique

Where can my readers find your stuff? Website, store, facebook, twitter account?:

www.youniqueproducts.com/kimberleekelley

You sell younique makeup, correct? Please tell us about it, company, and why this makeup is different than what you could buy at the store:

Yes, I do. This company and makeup is different because they care about their customers and care about making them happy. Also this make up is natural and it NEVER tested on animals.

Have YOU used it?:


Yes, I use it every single day

What is your favorite product and why?:

Their BB Cream and 3D Fiber Lash Mascara.
I love their BB Cream because it has amazing coverage, it feels light weight and it blends great.

I love their 3D Fiber Lash Mascara because it's not fake lashes it makes my natural lashes super long and full and it's really easy to use.


Why this particular product? What made you say, “I love this product and want to try and sell it to my friends and family?”

Because of the way they treat their customers and presenter. And their makeup is amazing.

What makes you passionate about selling this? :

My love of their products and each new one I try makes me fall in love more.

How do you get people to buy? What’s your approach, your sales technique?:


I just tell them about the amazing products and way I love them.

Is this your only job?:

Yes

If you could describe this product using only three words what would they be?:

Simply amazing products