Monday, March 9, 2015

For Fun: The Definitive Rank of Disney Villains

Part 2 of 4


Just like the Heroines list this is all my own opinion. I have also only done villains from movies I HAVE SEEN. So if I missed one and you want to comment about where they should appear on the list, please feel free to do so!! This is also only includes main bad guys. So Anastasia and Drizella have been left out as well as other minor bad villain characters. Hopefully you enjoy!

20. Shan Yu - Mulan
He makes # 20 because out of all the villains his character is the least flushed out. He has little speaking lines and is mainly an invisible threat to the characters until the end of the story.

19. Shere Khan- Jungle Book

Simply because you hate man is no reason to try and kill a little boy raised in the forest. I also hate the idea that all cats must be evil. Disney portrays them as sneaky and devilish in most movies. I.E Siamese cats in Lady and the Tramp, Lucifer in Cinderella etc...etc.. Aristocats is the one kitty saving grace.

18. Doctor Facilier (The Shadow Man)- Princes and the Frog
I concede the scene where he is conjuring spirits is pretty freaky and cool, this bad guy is a sad villain in light of some of Disney's greater evil no good doers. Also I find the portrayal of voodoo insulting. He is more of some evil spirits whiny bitch then a villain in his own right.

17. Claude Frollo- The Hunchback of Notre Dame

I wish this hadn't been a kid's movie. This guy is so much nastier and grosser in the original tale. The movie makes him a bit of a creeper and fanatic, but nothing like the pious douche who kills Esmerelda cause she won't sleep with him, that he is in the novel.

16. Yzma- The Emperors New Groove
While voiced by the awesome Eartha Kitt, and drawn in such a way that you want to cringe when you look at her, I couldn't stand this movie. AT ALL. So the villain of it's story winds up at number 16. Sorry Yzma, with your hunky young lover....the hero is too whiny for you to be farther down the villain list.

15. The Queen of Hearts - Alice in Wonderland

She is a psycho with a fatal attraction to red and punishing her underlings. You would think this would make me like her more...nope. She is too crazy to be a good queen or to even make sense when she talks. She treats her husband badly, instead of utilizing his own, small, abilities and cares WAY too much about an annoying English girl.

14. Gaston- Beauty and the Beast

Okay, I like Gaston, but in a list with other villains? He kind of sucks. He is devious, I mean who gets a girl's daddy put in an asylum simply so he can bang her? Someone with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder, that's who. In the end, however, he is just a jock with too much testosterone who grew up in a small poor village as a rich boy and is treated like a Prince. I mean he doesn't even have magic!

13. King John- Robin Hood

My favorite Disney Movie, but seriously this guy's an idiot and so is his whole staff. Just a mean thumb sucking baby.

12. Captain James Hook - Peter Pan

Ah, the Captain of the Jolly Roger. Lovable, funny, bad tempered, an afraid of crocodiles, you know, when a forever young snotty boy isn't kicking his butt. I love a good pirate, but this one is a buffoon. He makes # 12 because he has no qualms of killing kids to get what he wants, even if what he wants is to kill an annoying young boy...Go pillage something for heaven's sake.

11. Governor Ratcliffe- Pocahontas

This guy is actually a decent bad guy. He wants to kill a whole group of people because they act and look different then he does and because he thinks they are hoarding gold, which is totally untrue. He almost starts a war over gold and land. Pretty horrible if you ask me. He is this far from # one because once he realized he had been out numbered and out smarted, instead of pulling back and thinking things through he just bumbles in, grabs a gun and shoots. Making you realize he really is just a pompous dumb ass after all. Cute doggy, though.

10. Jafar- Aladdin

And now we get into the cream of the crop. I only have one thing to say about Jafar. Dude is EVIL. Reasoning: that seriously gross scene where he kisses Jasmine, cause he wants all that power and to be Sultan and also to basically rape a teenage girl.

9. Lady Tremaine( The Evil Stepmother)- Cinderella

Step One. Make some sad lonely widower fall in love with you
Step Two. Move in with him, his beautiful daughter and your two horrid daughters
Step Three. Not really be too sad when he dies and leaves you everything, thinking you will take care of said beautiful daughter.
Step Four. Be jealous of beautiful daughter, cause that's rational.
Step Five. Treat sweet beautiful daughter like crap because it makes you feel better about your horrid self and ugly kids.

8. Ursula- The Little Mermaid

Most detailed plot to over throw a king you hate EVER. I mean how much forethought went into this? Ursula had to plan, like plan, that Triton would willingly give up his power and throne to save his daughter and that Ariel would come to her and fail. How devious is that shit? She is also a Plus Size Goddess, one of the only plus size Disney characters ever. I would make her closer to # 1 if there weren't a few villains more evil.

7. Mother Gothel- Rapunzel

Stole a baby and ruined a family for MAGIC FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH HAIR. Rapunzel gonna need therapy for LIFE. "Yeah I'm Rapunzel, the woman I thought was my mom was actually my kidnapper, and never cared about me, she was just in love with my hair."

6.Prince Hans of the Southern Isles- Frozen

Ultimate playboy douche wheel. What kind of guy pretends to fall in love with a lovely shut in simply to try and get her Kingdom?...The kind who can feel jealously and forgotten about cause he has 12 older brothers! You gotta give him props though, he was going to let Anna freeze to death simply to get a Kingdom. The real villains here are Hans parents, that is TOO many kids. He gets beat by two awesome girls in the end, though, which is a fitting for a a sneaky handsome villain.

5. Cruella De Ville- 101 Dalmations

I only need to use three words to justify her in the top five: Wannabe Puppy Killer

4. Hades- Hercules

King of Hell, party of one. No not you Crowley, sorry my love, I am talking about the blue hot head who lies, kills and manipulates to become the ruler of Olympus, while maintaining his charms, good looks and sarcastic sense of humor...Wait maybe HADES IS CROWLEY.

3. Queen Grimhilde (The Wicked Queen)- Snow White

Tried to kill her step daughter simply because the LITTLE GIRL was prettier than her. Vanity at it's best, and she took that advice from a scary demon she raised to live in her magic mirror. She is one evil bad ass witch. She wanted Snow White's heart in a box!! Have you heard the incantation she uses for the mirror servant? Creepy as hell.

2. Scar- The Lion King

I don't care for this movie, but it has obvious Hamlet style undertones and the bad guy KILLS HIS BROTHER to obtain his throne. That is seriously fucked up. SERIOUSLY. Plus you have to kind of dig him with his sexy voice and angry attitude.

1. Maleficent- Sleepy Beauty

Sorry but it had to be this evil bitch fairy, pissed off cause her invitation to a blessing got lost in the mail. She curses a perfectly innocent child to DIE and doesn't blink and eye or feel any sympathy. Then she tries her best to see her curse is successful, even if it's been turned into a sleeping curse instead of a death curse. Plus she becomes a DRAGON. Nuff said.

Hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing!

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