Sunday, December 20, 2015

Happy Holidays Everyone!!





I won't be on here again until after the holidays so to everyone who reads my blog, puts up with my crazy bull shit, enjoys my dark humor and reads my books!

I HOPE YOU HAVE A MERRY WHATEVER WINTER HOLIDAY YOU CELEBRATE!!

My wish for you all is that you:

1) Have peace and happiness

2) Find amazing things to read

3) Embrace love and joy in your life

4) Come into an abundance of money

5)Enjoy good food and the company of family and friends

6) Watch awesome TV in 2016

7) Are healthy and know you are beautiful

8) Take things with a grain of  salt, get pass the bad and let go of anxiety and depression

9) Feel as if you have accomplished something and that 2016 will be better than 2015

10) Refrain from being too hard on yourself or others. Give respect to yourself and those around you.


I leave the year with a quote from 30 Rock....Just because it's funny.

Happy Holidays...is what terrorists say. Merry Christmas- Avery and Jack.

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Monday, December 14, 2015

Who Doesn't Love Cute Panties!!?



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Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Spot Light Post: Pure Romance by Breanne Fisher




SPOTLIGHT POST

Interview

Breanne with Pure Romance








What kind of business are you running? Name, what you do, what do you sell?

I sell Pure Romance by Breanne. I hold in-house parties to educate women on the benefits of relationship enhancement products. I sell the highest quality products from lotions and lingerie to bedroom accessories.


How do you feel selling intimate items? Were you embarrassed at first or did it come naturally?

I feel very confident about selling intimate items. I don’t feel that anybody should be embarrassed about anything in the bedroom and my aim is to help everyone understand that it isn’t scary. It really feels so natural to sell everything Pure Romance has.

Why this particular company and not say, Mary Kay, Scentsy, Tupperware etc...

This company actually spoke to me as a person the most. From the items like Coochy to the more fun toys it was so well rounded. I have been to multiple parties for other companies but none of them have ever been as much fun or informative as this.

What is your favorite item?

My favorite would have to be Coochy. I use it basically daily. It’s good for shaving as well as it can be used as a conditioner. The current scent I’m all over is Peruvian Cocoa Berry. Limited edition at this point and so good!

I also want to mention one other because I pair it right along with Coochy. It’s Basic Instinct. It’s uses pheromones to create a signature scent that is all you. Even the men can use it. It’s fascinating to find out what some men smell like. The best thing about this is that pheromones are something that people tend to like so when you work somewhere with customer service this makes people feel more agreeable towards you.


How do you find it is best to approach people concerning items like lube, sex toys and lotions. Do you find new customers get anxious or embarrassed?

New customers don’t usually get embarrassed about the lotions at least! Lubes are not something I have any issues with yet. Explaining the benefits of having lube in the first place usually helps more people understand why they should be using it pretty much every time as it is.

Toys are something I let them know about but the best thing about this is that if they are uncomfortable with it at all we would simply do a mild party and we wouldn’t even show the toys. They would still be available for people to purchase in the private shopping room and they are in the catalog but nobody will be forced to see anything they don’t want to.


Is the goal for this to stay a side business or go full time eventually?

The goal right now is to keep it as a side business unless something goes bad at work. I am hoping within a year or two I can make this a full time thing and be a full time mom right along with it.


Do you have any funny stories or anecdotes you'd like to share?

I have had one party so far where someone that was there was so adamant that they would HATE so many of the products I had and they didn’t want to try anything that I passed around. Once all the other ladies at the party started to voice how awesome something was that lady was throwing herself over all of them to get at the product. Her wish list ended up being the longest out of everybody’s!


I personally feel like items such as these can be really fun in bedroom, whether alone or with a partner. That sometimes it's great to change it up a bit, that it's good for people, what do you think?

I agree with you completely. Many of the products can be used alone or you can play together. There are also some that are actual couple toys and those are very popular and they can spice up the bedroom for couples who feel the spark isn’t there as much anymore. When you don’t have somebody, who better is there who knows what you like but yourself? Releasing all the endorphins that you can from this helps you so much and can honestly keep you in a much better place emotionally.


Is it better for you for people to schedule a party or just buy directly? Why are parties important?

It’s always better to do a party. When you host a party and you get $150 from the guests you get a free gift just for letting me show off everything to your friends and use your home. Then for all the orders that do come in you get 10% hostess credit. Most people that host parties end up with a pretty hefty amount in hostess credit and get even MORE free gifts. Anything that you don’t get for free I give a discount on that as well. Depending on the month and the date in the week depends on the discount. There is also a $6 shipping fee with every order that is place that night. You could order the whole catalog but it would only be $6 because that is a flat rate. That is if I have the product or not. If I don’t have it, I’ll get it to you!

When you order from the website you don’t get the hostess discount you would get plus the shipping is $7.95 and you are guaranteed to have to wait for your products to ship to you.



What happens at a party?

At the party we all get together, have some snacks and then I start my presentation off with a game so we can learn everybody’s name and talk about how fantastic the hostess is. Then we do the full presentation where I explain everything that I have brought with me to show you. You are of course welcome to ask any questions during this time. We try out some products. Everything above the waist! After everything is over we go back to the private shopping room where you can ask any personal questions you might have if you are a little shy about the people knowing about your life. It is mostly, of course, for shopping! You will receive all the goodies I have on hand in a bag that night and anything I don’t have I will get for you within 1-2 weeks.

Websites and Contact Information for Breanne

Website: www.pureromance.com/breannefisher
Phone: 801-739-1619
E-mail: breannelfisher@gmail.com



Sunday, November 22, 2015

Imaginary Boyfriends























Imaginary Boyfriend,
what a funny word for those fictional boys and men you have crushes on during your life time.... (However different from ACTORS you fantasize about.)

I didn't even know there was a term for that until a few years ago. Watching Empire Strikes Back with my husband last night made me start thinking about it, all the Imaginary Boyfriends I have had over the years and still do.

Imaginary Boyfriends are great, they allow you to be nerdy, funny, geeky, dorky, day dream about and obsessed over someone who doesn't exist and get a tiny thrill out of every time you come in contact with them....Whether book, tv, movie, or video game. They allow you to form attachments to other people, "You love The Tenth Doctor, Me Too!! OMG!" or hate them "No way is Sam better than Dean!" All in a fun cheesy way.

I don't love my husband less, even though I have these imaginary crushes, it also doesn't mean our relationship lacks something..In fact there is NO deeper meaning to a fictional crush than just that. It is a made up person you adore. Just like being a fangirl doesn't always mean your life is sad or boring, it just means this is something that interests you. With Imaginary Boyfriends it's a someone instead of a something.

My first Imaginary Boyfriend? Luke Skywalker, to this day when I am trying to fall asleep I create imaginative worlds in my mind where I am Roxana a young female Jedi who meets and falls in love with Luke and he, of course, returns the favor. The Day Dream hasn't changed since I was 12.

From ages 12 to 20 Luke remained and was joined by; Dracula, Iolaus from Hercules, The Vampire Lestat, Eric Marquand from Maggie Shayne's Twilight Phantasies, Alan Grant from Jurassic Park and Doctor Mike Horton from Days of Our Lives.

As I got older these Imaginary Boyfriends didn't stop, they just seemed to grow along with me. Sirius Black became a head liner in fan fiction and was my main fiction squeeze for many years. Then I was introduced to Dr. Who and  The Tenth Doctor was the be all and end all of my dorky heart's existence.

In the last year I have added the delicious Dean Winchester to the list as well as Cullen from the Dragon Age Games and Garrus from Mass Effect.

However, even after all these years and realizing what a whiny loser Luke could be....He's still my first and I clutch my horrible old Star Wars novels with fierce jealousy......


So who are YOUR Imaginary Boyfriends? (Or Girlfriends for that matter?)

Friday, November 6, 2015

This just in: LDS Church Makes Changes and Everyone Freaks Out




So by now I guess you've all read about how the LDS Church will not allow children raised by same sex parents to be blessed or baptized before the age of 18. Also to even BE baptized said child must get permission from the 1st Presidency, renounce same sex marriage (or homosexuality at all) and no longer live with their sinner parents. I would like to clarify that at no point does the wording state the child must disavow their actual parents, just the sin in which they live.

I found this out last night and instantly reached out to members of the Mormon community that I know, including my husband. Most were appalled and believed the article I showed them wasn't the whole truth, that a press release from the Church would eventually come out and clear it all up. However by this afternoon it did not happen and it seems that this is the way things are to be now.

Read the Article


My husband went over the Handbook seen in the article and explained some things to me, I am not Mormon so in writing this blog it helped. The Church seems to be treating the children of same sex marriage as they do children from polygamy cult families. My husband explained the differences however.

1) Polygamy is illegal, where being gay is not.

2) Children in polygamy families are often in more danger from their community and relatives than those raised by gay parents. Polygamy cult children are often VERY restricted, controlled and manipulated where children of same sex marriage usually grow up in a steady and loving environment.

So basically: They shouldn't be treated the same, but that seems to be what the Church is doing. He then went on to tell me that he finds this to be unnecessary, like the Church is trying to fix a problem that hasn't even happened and in the process now looks like a monster. He also says the wording used is  unclear, confusing and up to interpretation, that the church really needs to do some clarifying. He was most upset about the babies not being able to be blessed, like that was more than a step too far; it was also stupid and cruel.

Of course we are both mortified, my husband is a liberal Mormon, and I am as far from Mormon as you can get. He has dealt with a lot over the years, his political beliefs crashing into his religious ones. Like most liberal Mormons he just ignores those things in doctrine and policy against items like gay people and abortion and instead is just a good person. Which I support...I enjoy a lot of the principals my husband grew up with. Family dinner, offering help when you can, staying close to family, caring about those in your community. I could do without the hate however, which is EXACTLY what this new policy is full of.

When I moved here I was panicked, Mormons in my home town (well in high school) tended to be snobby, secluded, and snub outsiders. I feared I was moving into an area where no one would like me. I was wrong, I have met so many kind people, LDS and not, who have gone out of their way to help me. Even though I am not a member of the Church, even before I married my husband, members of the Church included me in yard clean ups, helped roof my house, invited us to trunk-or-treat etc...

Now that I am married to a Mormon in good standing, I attend church when he talks, make small talk when I see members out and about in the neighborhood and they treat me with kindness, I return the favor.

So I do want to defend those people, a little.

My husband's family are all very Mormon and welcomed me and my girls with open arms, I have made no secret about how who I am and they still treat us well. I go to church on Sunday's when we visit out of respect for my mother-in-law. Now however I am re thinking that, I don't want my girls in any building that is alright with this kind of negativity.

As my friends freak out, as I watch my FB forums blowing up nd people planning to leave the church,  I see so many questions. I have a lot of the same.

How is this policy even right? The Church asks questions about the child who wants to be Baptized, but do they do invasive home search?

"Oh your parents drink? That's a sin. Because they are drunks you must not live with them while they drink, renounce drinking and be 21, the legal age to drink before joining our Church."

This policy is the Church singling out the children of a specific group in a way they do not do to anyone else. Not children of parents who are not married, children of drunks, children of gamblers, children of single mothers, children of heretics. If you are going to do this to one you must do it to the children of ALL sinners. That seems about as logical as anything else.

I know this new policy is not how every member of the Church views things. In fact in you look at all the outrage you will find many people saying things like, "I love my church, but this is awful" or "I think homosexuality is a sin, but why are we punishing their children?"

Am I surprised that being gay can get you excommunicated? No. However after the Church's negative remarks about Kim Davis and support of the non-discrimination laws passed in Salt Lake, I find their policy about not allowing children of  same sex marriage the ability to be blessed or baptized before they turn 18 to be confusing and hurtful.

I do want to share something with your, however. A friend of mine who is a Liberal Mormon wrote this and I felt it should be posted somewhere ALL can see it.

"Our minds are constantly being invaded by legions of half-truths, prejudices, and false facts. One of the great needs of mankind is to be lifted above the morass of false propaganda." - Martin Luther King Jr.

I beg of my friends of opposite faiths, shared faith, and no faith to not be so easily fooled by headlines and circulating stories today and take a moment to pause, question, research, and ponder before making a public outcry based primarily on distortion.

It's very clear how and why the media construed the issues the way it did. The words "policy" "disavow" "apostate" "same-sex sin" are buzz words that the media used today mostly so you would share their article and generate revenue. It was done to distill hate and misunderstanding. To further divide society and our understanding of each other's beliefs. To cause hurt, confusion, and judgement.
When I read a headline this morning my heart actually sank. But upon reading the text I quickly realized the falsehoods. I want to write about what the headlines framed poorly. I want to help clarify. I don't want to argue. I don't want to preach. I don't think I have all the answers. I just hope to share some extremely vulnerable and honest perspective and understanding.

A few general principles:

1) The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS) does not condone homosexual behavior---much like most general Christian, Judaic, and Islamic religions. It also does not condone drinking alcohol, smoking, fornication, pornography, or polygamy. At times in my life, I've struggled with some of these sins. I have many friends and family members who participate in those activities (not polygamy). I love them, I spend time with them, I celebrate civil liberties with them. I do not tell them they're wrong, I do not tell them to change, I do not think they are horrible people living horrible lives. That would be against the teachings of Jesus Christ, sinful, and depressing.

2) The Church--the Gospel--welcomes all individuals who participate in such behavior to join our worship, receive blessings, and participate in activities. Sometimes some people don't welcome those who are struggling with the above listed sins, its clearly because they have their own sins they are overcoming (judgement, pious). So, we should be patient with them and love them too.

3) There are some ordinances that require complete dedication to LDS teachings for participation. Those are types of ordinances you probably don't want to participate in if you don't believe in all LDS teachings. (Does this sound strange to you?: "I want access to that sacred temple where you make promises to God even though I don't believe or respect any of it. Why won't you let me in?") If you truly do want to participate, the atonement provides a path and process for ANYONE to gain access.

Some principles related to the handling of baptisms specifically:

1) LGTBQ individuals are welcome as baptized, full-covenant holding members of the LDS church if they believe and follow the teachings. Even if they mess up, like us heterosexuals do all the time, they are given the same path to repentance if that is what they choose.

2) Previously the church clarified "acting on homosexuality" as fornication--sex outside of marriage. Now that same sex marriage is legal, the aforementioned clarification isn't very clear. The Church wanted to clarify further for members that same-sex marriage is against its teachings and uses the word "apostate" to describe same-sex married couples---which is used to define any practices that go against teachings of the church.

3) Remember that above list of sins LDS members are taught to avoid? Well, if you are raised in a home that practices any of those you are raised in an apostate home. Those words make a good, oppressing headline, but please remember we have moral teachings we define and follow to align our lives to God's commandments. That's not a new oppressive thing we came up with, it's something all religions do--help define right and wrong.

4) If you are growing up in a home that practices any of those aforementioned sins and you wish to be baptized, the church wants to take into account a few things, which I've highlighted in a hypothetical conversation:

A. If you are baptized, will your parents kick you out? Stop providing for you? Hate you? Use you? Win custody battles over you? If yes, let's talk about how your life will look for the next ten years and make sure we don't put you at risk. If no, that's wonderful, let's talk about some other things.

B. Your parents fully support you, which is such a blessing. Do you realize that this Church you want to be a part of does not support your parent's choices (drinking, smoking, polygamy, fornicating, homosexuality)? Are you okay with that and will you live your life in such a way that reflects those teachings? Does that put you in an awkward position? Does that make living the gospel difficult for you? This is a serious commitment and we want to be sure you're ready. If yes, let's go through the process outlined in our global church that standardizes practices so that members all over the world have access to it. (What happens next is on a case by case basis with Church leaders, you and your family members, and--we believe--God). If no, let's take some time to continue learning about these principles and develop your understanding to ensure you are comfortable with your decision.

5) If you choose not to get baptized after being asked those questions, or are told it will be best for your well-being/safety to wait until you are out of your parents care, you are extended every blessing church members receive. You go to activities, worship, and receive priesthood blessings. If you pass away before having the opportunity to be baptized, the LDS church will conduct a proxy baptism for you--ensuring you have all the promised eternal blessings (now that's something to write headlines about).
6) Lastly, we believe that the Lord, our Savior and Redeemer, knows your heart. He knows your desires. He knows your faith. He knows you, more than any human who is doing their very best to help you--He knows you. So if that human perhaps lapses judgement, he (that struggling human) will be held accountable and He will reward you. "Be still and know that I am God."

My final thoughts: A very close, young family member of mine is awaiting baptism until he/she is positioned better. The decision and situation is not ideal but it is a true example of this affecting our lives outside of homosexuality and prior to formally addressing homosexual parents.

If you are of another faith, struggling with faith, or of no faith--I understand your qualms beginning with the very first point I mentioned. I hope the following points helped clarify why this particular issue isn't another reason to hate and judge us. Many other things may be, but this policy particularly is very much out of love and respect.

If you are of the LDS faith, a similar faith, or struggling with faith, I hope this post helped you read beyond the headlines and understand the reasoning. I hope you can find peace and comfort amidst media heat today. I hope cunning words didn't succeed in weakening your testimony. If you still feel uncomfortable, I hope you feel comfortable enough to continually seek out answers and understanding.

In the words of Malcolm X, "If we're not careful the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed (the public) and loving the people who are doing the oppressing (the media)." We're all better than that, I know we all want to be better than that.

While I don't totally agree, mainly because I am not Mormon and the new policy screams: WRONG to me, I thought reading the words of someone who has gay friends, who is liberal and a devout Mormon may help.  This is such an emotionally charged issue.

Hopefully the Church will rectify this mistake and that no impressionable gay youths will be harmed by this outrageous change, may they know how blessed and loved they are by whatever deity they choose to worship, no church can change that. May those children in same sex relationship homes that want to be a part of the Church  know and understand that their God loves them and doesn't care where they pray, they are always heard and loved. I hope the children this effects understand that this policy is written be MEN, not God.

No matter what religion you are the one thing that is NEVER OK is to attack our children, to make them feel unloved, hated, or so different a Church must make such a harsh policy change. It's not right, it's not fair.

“Fathers shall not be put to death because of their children, nor shall children be put to death because of their fathers. Each one shall be put to death for his own sin." Deuteronomy 24:16 

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."Matthew 19:14

Yeah, the Pagan went to a Christian school, she KNOWS her Bible Versus. (Mic Drop)

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Christian Blogger States: If Your Wife Hates Sex, Just Don't Look At Her Face





In response to THIS:
http://jezebel.com/christian-website-advises-avoiding-wifes-face-if-shes-n-1738825759

BTW : If you can't take a joke or don't understand satire please MOVE ON.





Men- are you sometimes too tired, too drunk, or too old to get a boner when your wife wants sex? Maybe you are not as attracted to her as you were when you first got married, I'm not saying you don't LOVE your wife, but hey it happens to most men sometimes, yes?

Well that doesn't matter. You must please your wife, whenever she asks, whenever she wants it. It doesn't matter if you spent all day at work or if you just got done mowing the lawn. This is a woman who launders your socks, has your babies, cares about whatever mundane task has consumed hours of your day. She loves and respects you; so when she needs the sex you are obligated by God to give her the sex.

They make many different kinds of enhancements to help you if you feel you are falling short in your duties to perform at the standard she requires. Pills, pumps, drinks, creams, even doctors whose radio ads tell us over and over again how they can help you out if you are not getting it up like you used to. You wouldn't want to disappoint your wife, would you?

 It is common knowledge that women want sex more than men, I mean if she isn't getting it from you, who is she getting it from? Women are insatiable and only controlled by their vagina's, in fact orgasm addiction can be an issue with some women.  If you can't get your member up and at-tum then feel free to use your tongue, fingers or toys until such a time you are at full stamina again.

It is a SIN for you to turn away your wife, she owns you through those wedding vows you made. Even if you are not enjoying it, or don't want it, you must act like you do and comply. How would she feel if you made love to her with an annoyed expression on your face? "Fake it till you make it" guys.  You are the horse she has bought to ride when she wants to. Even if you can't climax yourself it is your duty as her husband to see to her pleasure.



Women- does your husband have issues getting into it when you want to have sex? Do you sometimes come home from the park with your kids or a tough day at the office or even school and want to jump his bones simply to have him agree but be unresponsive and feel like he is just trying to get you off as soon as possible so he can go have a beer or go back to bed?

Look, we know you love your husband, but sometimes he is going to be going against God's will by not wanting to have sex with you. We know, hard to believe, right?  There is a simple solution to this: Have him fuck you doggy style or in any position where you don't have to look at his dumb bored face. Focus instead on his hands on your hips and his thrusting, the way his skin smells or hell, just focus on you, because that's what this is all about: YOU.

Maybe he can't get it up for numerous reasons, sometimes they may be legitimate, but mostly it's just his whining.  Even if his dick won't work, other parts of him are more than capable of taking care of your needs, gently remind him of that and if he still doesn't understand then take a more forceful approach.

God says it is a sin for your husband to neglect your physical needs, if he is uninterested in sex or refusing you outright he is going against the Lord and may need to be punished. Just remember it is not your fault and suggest that your husband may need to spend some time praying over the sins he is committing against you and God in refusing to lay with you like husband and wife.

Remember: He is a horse you purchased, you don't need permission to make him pull your plow.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Getting Rid of the Stigma- SEX!!

This next month or two I am focusing on a series of blogs telling the stories of women. About their first sexual encounter, their periods, miscarriages, abortions, adoption, pregnancies and all the things that society has developed stigma's surrounding.

We shouldn't talk about menstruation it's so gross, we should hide and be ashamed of our abortions, we should grieve in silence when it comes to a miscarriage or fertility issues, we should feel dirty if we engage in any type of sexual experience or experimentation or heaven forbid are willing participants in any sort of sex work. Women are paid less money and our body standards are ridiculous, we are told to feel bad if we keep a baby and we are single, hello! God says you need to be married first! But hey, that abortion you want? Nope nada, nothing.

This will be the last in this series, thanks for reading!!





Sorry it took so long to write this up, life happens, right??

SEX

SEX

SEX

Are you embarrassed yet? Let me say it again SEX! You shouldn't be ashamed of having it or of enjoying it. Everyone has their own set of rules in regards to it. My personal ones are pretty simple and have changed over the years.

1) Be SAFE

2) Use BIRTH CONTROL (unless you are TRYING to get pregnant)

3) If you can't remember the first names or nicknames of all your sexual partners you have probably had too many.

4) Be CREATIVE

5) Don't have sex until 18, mainly because in case the birth control fails you won't have to worry about being a mom in high school.

6) ENJOY YOURSELF

7) Make sure your PARTNER enjoys themselves

8) Don't have sex simply to have it, have it because you WANT it.

9) Listen to your body, don't let anyone pressure you into anything you are not comfortable doing.

10) One night stands are great, but the best sex if with someone who actually cares about you and has figured out what you like.



Alright, I guess I could give you a ton of statistics like in my last posts, but I won't I think that the stories I collected are the better proof that sex is sex and we should be able to talk about it freely, own any mishaps and not be judged by our choices.



Age of time of story 15

I didn't really want to, but it was leading somewhere, there was no condom....I didn't want to say no but I felt like I had to do SOMETHING! So I gave my very first and very awkward hand job, he seemed to like it, though later told me next time I could use the lotion on his night stand or just give him a blow job if I wasn't ready for real sex. I felt really weird and went right home and googled, "how to give a great blow job."


Age at time of story 21

I was in college and really nervous, so I wound up at a bar, simply looking for a guy who wouldn't mind poppin my cherry. My girlfriends helped and soon enough I was drunk and chatting away with a pretty cute guy a few years older than me. We went back to his place (so dangerous now that I look back on it!) I was excited and nervous until time for the actual sex. It was really boring! I could see the TV over his shoulder and Friends was on, the one where Joey gets his head stuck in the Turkey. Thankfully I've had much better sex since then.

Age at time of story 18

We had been fooling around a lot over about three months and I knew he was getting pretty inpatient. I had really enjoyed everything we had done up to that point, so during a heavy make-out session with me in a bra and panties I gave the ok, he pushed aside my underwear and slid right in. It kind of hurt, but it also felt really good. Afterwards the worst part was man did it burn when I had to pee, but I got over it. I walked back into the bedroom and asked, "When can we do that again?" He laughed at me and simply held out his arms.

Age at time of story 26

He was in the closet still, but way more experienced, about 15 years older than me. We started off just chatting online and then a few simple dates, a coffee shop, a book store. Each time he got guiltier and guiltier. Finally I pushed him, I knew he had been with other men, I hadn't and wanted him. He finally gave in, he was really aggressive. While the deed was being done all I could think was, "I never want to do this again."


Age at time of story 17

It was my first time with a girl, I didn't even realize you could lose your V card with a woman. Let me tell you losing it with fingers and a vibrator hurts really bad!!! I am so glad I will never have to do that again.


Age at time of story 30

It was awesome, I had waited a long time and that was my choice. I met a great guy we dated for about a month before making love for the first time. I felt really embarrassed the entire time, the sex was okay and I bled a bit more than I thought I would. The best part was afterwards he ran me a bath and left me to soak with bath salts for half an hour. It made me feel so much better and be much more receptive the second time around!


Age at time of story 14

On the floor of his bedroom after being told, "if you love me you will." He was 16. He dumped me a week later.


Age at time of story 19

Back.seat.of.a.toyota.camry. It was uncomfortable, not horrible. He got jizz all over and it was his brother's car. We had to scrub it out, we laughed the whole time.





Friday, September 25, 2015

Dracula's Abortion Bride














I know today I was supposed to do another "Getting Rid of the Stigma, but with all the abortion stuff going on in the news I just had to write about it.



I wanted to talk about three of the most common things Anti-Choice people says when confronted with Pro-Choice people talking about their abortions.



Let's forget the whole "You are evil." "You killed a baby." "God with will judge you." Simply because these are ridiculous statements answered very simply:


 "Fine "


"It's not a baby because: SCIENCE and the LAW,"  and

"God will judge me, not YOU" or "I don't believe in [your] God."'


Let's also get past the fact abortion is legal and the only thing Roe Vs Wade did was make sure women could get accessible safe access to a medical procedure instead of dying in a back ally after shoving a coat hanger in their vagina.


I know I am never going to be able to change the mind of a person so filled with hate, self-righteousness, ignorance or extreme religious beliefs, that abortion isn't wrong or murder. These people will always think that, they will always threaten others and use scare tactics, intimidation and false information to get the results they want whether it hurts people or not. Gee, what does that sound like? Terrorism, that's right the definition of terrorism is :
the use of violence and intimidation in the pursuit of political aims.

Which is what hate groups like CMP and Woodsboro Baptist Church are: terrorists.



I do want to point out that the trending hashtag #shoutyourabortion it NOT about pride or bragging, it is simply about sharing your story with others to remove the stigma. You do not HAVE to feel ashamed about your personal choices with your body. No one has the right to tell you how you should feel after an abortion. You may feel shame or regret, that's o.k. it's YOUR choice, but women who do not and who feel relief, liberation or joy should not be treated like they are whores of Satan, but as people who have had a medical procedure, end.of.story. Posting dead (mostly fake btw) baby pics on facebook and twitter doesn't make a woman regret her abortion or choose not to have it, it simply makes YOU look like a disgusting douche wheel.







Here is where we get into topic one.



You want women to not have abortions? Then you need to be pro-life FOR REAL.


That means supporting free and easy access to birth control for everyone.


That means supporting any welfare program you can think of; food stamps, cash aid, free healthcare, low income housing, affordable drug and alcohol rehab, free day care, paid maternity leave,better support systems for children with handicaps etc...etc...


Basically you need to support ANY program that helps the poor, because rich women will always be able to afford an abortion or birth control, it's poor women that decisions like Defunding Planned Parenthood fuck over.


The Pro-Choice people call this special group of anti-choicers: Forced-Birthers/Pro-Birthers, because they don't care about the fetus once it turns into a baby and is expelled from the womb. They don't care that the mother won't be able to afford to feed her kid, or will have to drop out of school or maybe she will die.

Isn't abortion better than a teen mom leaving her baby to die in a dumpster?

They also don't care about the woman HOSTING this fetus ((which is by definition a parasite during almost 95% of all abortions (1.an organism that lives in or on another organism (its host) and benefits by deriving nutrients at the host's expense.)) They only care about her ability to birth it, not how she will live during the pregnancy or after it.


So there it is, wanna be really pro-life, then you gotta care about ALL LIFE.








This leads right into topic two.



Adoption.



"Why don't you just adopt?"



Aside from the fact the mother still has to endure the emotional, physical and finical hardships of being pregnant? How about the over 400,000 kids in the foster care system right now?

I have seen the adoption process, it's a great idea and good choice for many women. But for a woman who simply cannot be an incubator for 9 months, this would be hell. My sister went through an adoption, birth mothers can get their medical expenses paid for, but legally they cannot receive money from the adopting couple which means the host still needs to work and have money for things like idk rent and food? Yeah....

Let us look at some adoption facts:

On average US families adopted more than 140,000 kids....mostly from OTHER countries.

hmmmmm 400,000 in foster homes versus 140,000 actual adoptions.


African American boy babies are the lease likely to actually be adopted out, so while the  time it takes to adopt them will be weeks not years, it is because no one wants them, though they are the cheapest to adopt.

So American's only want healthy white babies.


Then there is my response:

"You shouldn't get an abortion because there is always adoption!"


"Yeah, how many adopted or foster kids do YOU have?" or "No, this is the right CHOICE for me."






Then there is the third.

"I hate abortions because of my own fertility issues, it makes me mad that I can't have a baby but you can have an abortion. You don't appreciate what you have right there inside you."


Ugh...I went through a period of time where I had a ton of miscarriages before I got pregnant with my second child. I have also had an abortion. Those two things are not related. Just because a woman has an abortion doesn't mean you are less likely to get pregnant or more likely.

The woman having an abortion is not doing it to spite you, or shoving her ability to get pregnant and terminate it in your face.


I am so sorry to women who struggle with fertility but the argument, "I would take your baby." "Or you are so lucky, I can't even have one!" They just don't work.


A woman seeking an abortion is not lucky she got pregnant, hence the abortion, she feels badly for your issues but those are YOUR issues, her CHOICE has nothing to do with your fertility issues. She is in a predicament where abortion is the right CHOICE and you being mad because she is getting rid of something you want is like saying, "My neighbor just sold their car because they want to start taking the bus, I can't have a car right now (or ever) and I resent that they would rather take the bus."

Also as to the "give me your baby if you don't want it," types, I am sure you would take it. You are, however, over simplifying the situation. The woman having the abortion doesn't want to be pregnant, she doesn't consider the fetus a baby and she couldn't just give it to you.


Fertility issues are sad and awful, they can be life changing and heart breaking, as can abortions. However getting a mad at a woman who chooses to have one simply because you can't just makes you jealous and spiteful. These two things are not related. You are allowed to be over the moon and joyous about your miricale baby, because that is YOU. Another woman isn't having her miracle baby, she is getting rid of a mistake and something unwanted. Two separate issues.


I think it says a great deal that most anti-choicers are ready to call women who have had abortions names, threaten them with physical harm and judge them like they are God and have the right (Which they do NOT. I am no Christian but even I know God doesn't like those who judge others, especially in HIS name.)

James 4:12 There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?

Isaiah 11:3 And his delight shall be in the fear of the Lord. He shall not judge by what his eyes see, or decide disputes by what his ears hear.

I see a lot of hate coming from anti-choice people and it sickens me. You think getting rid of an unwanted fetus and being ok with it is sick? I think being awful and twisted towards a group a LIVING humans and posting pictures of those "dead babies" disgusting. (By the by most of those pictures of aborted fetus that look like real babies are either a)totally faked or b) actually of some poor woman's still born, just saying.)

Fake Picture of What a Fetus looks like














Real Picture of what a Fetus Looks Like

















I think I will end this with my two favorite sayings:





You don't like abortion? Don't have one.


You can be pro-choice and anti-abortion.




Bright Blessings, as I was called today,

Dracula's Abortion Bride






Friday, September 18, 2015

Getting Rid of the Stigma- Uterus Issues like Fertility and Miscarriage

This next month or two I am focusing on a series of blogs telling the stories of women. About their first sexual encounter, their periods, miscarriages, abortions, adoption, pregnancies and all the things that society has developed stigma's surrounding.

We shouldn't talk about menstruation it's so gross, we should hide and be ashamed of our abortions, we should grieve in silence when it comes to a miscarriage or fertility issues, we should feel dirty if we engage in any type of sexual experience or experimentation or heaven forbid are willing participants in any sort of sex work. Women are paid less money and our body standards are ridiculous, we are told to feel bad if we keep a baby and we are single, hello! God says you need to be married first! But hey, that abortion you want? Nope nada, nothing.

September 25th will be women and their first times.

If you would like to contribute a story to the collection it will be anonymous, only the age you were at the story's time. I want women to feel they can share without the fear of harassment, however if you would like me to include your name or online handle, please let me know. Email me at damianarose777@gmail.com





There are many things that go can go wrong in the Uterus. You can have cysts and cancer and infections. You can also have miscarriages, fertility issues and etopic pregnancies.  Many women do not feel like they can talk about these issues, just like a period, many women feel these are things to hush up, hide, be ashamed of or just not talk about.

However many of these issues come with a butt load of emotional and mental concerns that, to heal from completely, require the woman to be able to talk about it, get out all her worries her fear and her grief.

I am going to go over the three most common types of issues I have seen women be afraid or embarrassed to talk about. These are events in their lives that haven't been treated by others the way they should be with concern, comfort and support, with a shoulder to cry on and someone to simply listen.

By the way October 15th is infant loss awareness day.  You don't have to explain to ANYONE why you are holding that day in your heart, even if you had an abortion, a still birth, or a miscarriage at 4 weeks it doesn't mean you don't feel the loss. Every woman is different and we all need to respect that.


Etopic Pregnancy


What is etopic pregnancy:

"Ectopic pregnancy is a common, life-threatening condition that affects 1 in 80 pregnancies. Put very simply, it means “an out-of-place pregnancy”. It occurs when a woman’s ovum (egg), that has been fertilised, implants (gets stuck somewhere) instead of moving successfully down her fallopian tube into the womb to develop there. The most common place for an ectopic pregnancy is the fallopian tube but there are many other sites where an ectopic pregnancy can be located. It is, sadly, not possible to move an ectopic pregnancy." - This can be a perfect and viable pregnancy in every-way, but where it is located means it can not become a baby, in many cases women have to have their Fallopian tube removed which can cause issues with fertility down the road.

Reference

What are the symptoms:
Positive pregnancy test
Light vaginal bleeding
Nausea and vomiting with pain
Lower abdominal pain
Sharp abdominal cramps
Pain on one side of your body
Dizziness or weakness
Pain in your shoulder, neck, or rectum
If the fallopian tube ruptures, the pain and bleeding could be severe enough to cause fainting.

Reference


What can you do if you have had this happen to you and are having a hard time emotionally and mentally?:
Seek counseling

Actively engage your body in healing therapies

Join an ectopic pregnancy support group or forum

Journal about your journey

Acknowledge your loss, take time to mourn, allow yourself space to process the experience

Pray

Consciously thank your body for all that is does everyday

Believe in your body’s capacity to heal itself

Get body work done or do body work on yourself: Reiki, Maya Abdominal Massage, Self Fertility Massage or acupuncture

Meditate or visualize a healthy pregnancy happening for you as your body is healing

Reference

Understand this is not your fault and you should feel free to talk about it as often and as much as you need to.


Infertility

What can cause infertility:

Hormonal Issues

Scarred Ovaries

Premature Menopause

Follicle Problems

Fallopian Tubes that do not function well
-This can be caused by many things like etopic pregnancy, infection and previous surgeries

Endometriosis

Behavioral Factors
- Like smoking, diet, exercise and alcohol.

Environmental and Occupational Factors
- Like lead, medication and pesticides

Abnormal Uterus

Congenital abnormalities

Reference




What are the symptoms:
Abnormal periods. Bleeding is heavier or lighter than usual.

Irregular periods. The number of days in between each period varies each month.

No periods. You have never had a period, or periods suddenly stop.

Painful periods. Back pain, pelvic pain, and cramping may happen.

Skin changes, including more acne

Changes in sex drive and desire

Dark hair growth on the lips, chest, and chin

Loss of hair or thinning hair

Weight gain

Milky white discharge from nipples unrelated to breastfeeding
Pain during sex

Reference


What are the treatments?:

Fertility Drugs

Intrauterine insemination (IUI)

Surgery to restore fertility

In vitro fertilization (IVF)

Intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI)

Donor eggs or sperm

Surrogacy

Reference


How many people are affected by this?

The CDC states that 6% of women ages 15-44 suffer from infertility. About 1.5 million

What should I do or say to a friend coping with this?

Here is a handy dandy article to address just that!

How do I help?



Miscarriage


What is a miscarriage?:

A miscarriage is the loss of a baby before the 20th week of pregnancy. When the uterus expels the embryo or fetus because a) there is something wrong with it, b) a trauma has happened or c) an infertility issue.


What are the symptoms?:

Bleeding that progresses from light to heavy
Cramps
Abdominal pain
Fever
Passing of tissue

Reference

What causes a miscarriage?:
Chromosomal Abnormalities- Basically just means that either the egg or the sperm were faulty, we have 23 chromosomes each they are not all perfect.

Uterine Abnormalities and Incompetent Cervixes

Immunologic Disorders- The body views the pregnancy as a foreign object like a germ and tries to get rid of it.

Untreated Illnesses Such as Thyroid Problems

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome

Lifestyle

An Accident

Trauma- like a car accident or a fall


What are the statistics?:
About 30% of pregnancies end in miscarriage.

Over 80% of miscarriages occur before 12 weeks

It is estimated that 3 out of 4 eggs that are fertilized do not fuse their DNA correctly, and therefore either do not attempt to implant or fail at implantation.





It Could Have Been You

These are stories (and one interview) of women who have dealt with the above topics. I am honored that they shared their stories with me.

         Etopic 

Age of Story 30

      My husband and I got married in September of 2014.  On November 1st, we decided that we wanted to throw away the birth control.  We weren’t “trying”, because that takes all the fun out of it.  We weren’t trying not to get pregnant, either.  I have been on birth control for the better part of the last 12 years, since I was 19.  The only other time I had been off of it my body went a little haywire.  This time around, everything seemed to be operating smoothly.
Towards the end of November, I remember having some weird stomach pains.  My husband, jokingly, said to me, “Maybe I got you pregnant and it’s one of those tubular ones!”  I promptly set him straight on exactly why that wasn’t funny.  He honestly didn’t know how bad that was.  “Besides,” I told him, “I’m just ovulating.”  At least that is what I believed.
In the end of December, I was a little more emotional than usual.  I also just felt different.  So, we decided a pregnancy test was in order.  It came back negative.  No worries, right?  We hadn’t been without birth control that long.
January came, and brought with it the usual winter colds.  My stomach started really hurting on Monday, January 12th.  I was just ovulating, I was sure of it.  Same pain I’d been feeling once a month since I was a teenager.  And the dates added up.   However, the pain just got worse.  My husband went to the doctor on Tuesday and was told he had walking pneumonia.  The doctor told him that I should probably be seen for my cough, too.  By Thursday night the pain was absolutely unbearable.  I relented, and finally went to the doctor.
When I showed up at the doctor’s office on Thursday night, I gave off a list of my symptoms.  Cough, congestion, and oh by the way, this intense abdominal pain.  The doctor told me that he wasn’t so worried about the chest cold.  He told me “We are going to give you a pregnancy test, and hope that it is negative!”  I told him “But I want to be pregnant.”  He told me not this way, as he suspected it was an ectopic pregnancy.  He had confirmed that suspicion I held deep in the back of my mind.  Sure enough, the test came back positive.  He asked me which hospital I was going to go to so that he could call ahead. 
Next came the very emotional call to my husband.  You see all these cute little pregnancy reveal videos and pictures from social media.  Mine consisted of “Honey, I’m pregnant.  The doctor suspects it is an ectopic.  I’m coming home so that you can take me to the ER.”
My husband drove me to the ER.  Once we were there he text messaged my mom and sister for me for support, since I just couldn’t do it.  That night I was poked and prodded more than I have ever been in my whole life.  Needles, which I hate.  Ultrasounds that left me feeling like I had been abducted by aliens.  I kept making jokes (still do, I guess), because that was the only way I could cope.  My husband, knowing how bad I must be hurting, just kept assuring the staff that I was taking this seriously, joking was just my coping mechanism.
At the end of the evening, the ER doctor told me that he wasn’t sure what was going on.  He told me to come back in 48 hours to see if my HCG doubled.  This would mean that it was most likely a healthy pregnancy.  Those were the longest 48 hours of my life.  The pain only intensified and went all the way up to my shoulder.  I went to work on Friday. Fortunately, I only had to work for 2 hours.  My parents took me out to lunch.  I remember telling my mom that intellectually I was trying to tell myself that “You can’t be upset about a losing a pregnancy that you just now found out existed” but that emotionally I had never been so upset.  She explained to me that I had every right to be upset, because I was already seeing the possibilities.  My husband did his best to make me comfortable and to keep me distracted.  We tried to go to the movies, but I couldn’t move.  I am not a religious person but I prayed more in those hours than I ever had in my life.
48 hours later we made our way back to the ER.  Blood tests and more probing ultrasounds were repeated.  The ER doctor was still not sure.  Fortunately, my OB/GYN was on call.  He came to me and told me that my HCG numbers had exactly doubled.  On paper, I had a healthy pregnancy.  However, in real life, the ultrasounds showed it to be in my right fallopian tube.  He told me that he had never seen the numbers be good and have the pregnancy not be healthy in all of his years practicing.  Gee, lucky me.  He gave us the option of methotrexate or surgery.  He said that surgery was the best bet, so that is what I decided. 
I was immediately prepped and taken back for surgery.  The anesthesiologist asked me what I was having done.  I told him a tummy tuck and a nose job because saying “I have an ectopic pregnancy that has to be removed” was just too much for me.  He was kind of an ass and said “No, what are you really here for?”  I wanted to scream “Dick head!  You have my chart in front of you!”
I woke up from surgery a few hours later, sans my right fallopian tube.  I was in a ton of pain, emotionally and physically.  When my doctor came to talk to me, he told me “We were this close to kablooey.”  Some people don’t think that was very professional, but it was what I needed to hear.  It made it seem less scary.  I found out later that the shoulder pain was a pretty big indicator that my tube was going to rupture. 
It has been around 9 months since all this happened.  Yeah, let that sink in for a minute.  It was by far the worst experience in my life.  I have stomach pains daily from scar tissue as a reminder.  It has been tough, but I have just made a point of knowing everything and anything there is to know about ectopic pregnancies.  Unfortunately, there is no preventing them.  And, fun fact, if you have one you are more likely to have another.  I thought that having one less fallopian tube meant that my fertility was decreased by half.  In reality, it is only diminished by 30%.  I have learned more in the last 9 months about being a woman than I have in the previous 30 years.  I’m tougher now than ever because of it.


 Fertility Issues

Age of story 17+

I know when you were younger you were told you might have a hard time conceiving. How old were you and what was your diagnosis: I was 17 and I was told that I have P.C.O.S., polycystic ovary syndrome, and that mine was a severe case and I would never be able to have children without help.

How did this make you feel?: I felt horrible. All I ever wanted to be was a mom and have a family when I was younger so it was a huge blow.

What did you try to help you conceive? Positions, medications etc...: I went on and off birth control trying to regulate my hormones, I tried keeping my hips elevated after sex. Pretty much anything that was said to help I tried. Finally when I gave up trying I was already married to my second husband and then it happened, I got pregnant! It was a miracle to me.

Before you had your son how many miscarriages did you have?: Unfortunately in the space of 2 years before I had my son I had 3 miscarriages.    

How far along were you for each of them?: 11, 12, and 15 weeks each.


I have had a few miscarriages and each is hard in their own way, Tell me about yours, how you felt,what kind of support you had, did you have to go to the hospital?: I went to the hospital with all 3 of them and they said there was nothing they could do and they sent me home as soon as the bleeding stopped. I had no family and no friends in the area at the time and my now ex husband just shrugged it off like it wasn't important and said it would happen when it was meant to happen. I felt like I was being punished for something after trying for 8 years to get pregnant and then having back to back miscarriages like that, it was horrible.

How long did it take before you had your son and was his pregnancy difficult? About 4 months after the last miscarriage I found I was pregnant with my son. I was cautious and followed every rule like some kind of pregnant nazi to make sure nothing would happen this time. It was a rough pregnancy. I had hyperemesis (very severe morning sickness that only 3% of all pregnant women in the world get, lucky me I had it with both children.), and then half way through I developed pre-eclampsia and ended up having him 28 days early because my protein levels were dangerously high. After I had him I hemorrhaged for a few hours and lost almost half of my blood, I had to have two transfusions in 3 days before I was allowed to go home.

You had your daughter not too long after your son, what changed? Did you have a miscarriage between the two? Was she easier to conceive? Or do you think your original diagnosis was incorrect? I found out I was pregnant with my daughter when my son was 10 months old, he refused to breast feed one day so I took a test and it was immediately positive lol. My Dr had told me I had about a 10% chance of having another child, but when I became pregnant she tested my hormone levels and said that breastfeeding must have leveled them out enough for me to ovulate again. 

How was the pregnancy with your daughter? I had hyperemesis again and ended up in the hospital on fluids several times and lost 46lbs in the first 4 months of my pregnancy. After that it was normal until I was hit by a drunk driver when I was 35 weeks and her heart stopped. I had to be monitored 3 times a week after that until I had her. Other than the sickness lasting longer the pregnancy was much easier and much more normal than with my son.

If you don't mind sharing, I know you had to to have full hysterectomy, do you think that all the events prior (ie miscarriages and complicated births) led up to this moment? I had a hysterectomy, but not an oofarectomy, meaning I still have my ovaries even though they don't produce the right amounts of the right hormones (P.C.O.S) because taking out your ovaries can shorten your life span and put you into immediate menopause. My PCOS is why I had it done. I've always been anemic and having super heavy periods that last 4 to 5 months at a time weren't helping.

How does it feel knowing you cannot have more children?: I cried a bit when I first made the decision because it was closing a chapter that was so important in my life. But then I realized that my two are all I can handle, mostly because of my son being autistic, and I'm very, very happy that I can't have any more children.


Is there anything else you would like to say, maybe words of advice for a woman in your similar situation?: Don't let the dr.s tell you what you can and can't do. If you do research, make sure it's from sources that are legitimate. Do what is best for you and your body.

Miscarriage


I was 28 when I found out I was pregnant. After years of telling my mom I was never going to give her grandchildren, I was about to become a mother.
I did a home pregnancy test and followed up with a confirmation to the doctor.
My husband and I were so excited. It was early yet, so no heartbeat could be heard.
I was feeling great. No morning sickness, just a feeling of happiness.
The second visit still resulted in no heartbeat but the doctor didn't seem too worried about it.
At about 12-13 weeks, I felt and looked like I was putting on a little weight and was developing a little pouch. I was quite happy and still no morning sickness.
The next visit, however, was not so good. The doctor still could not detect a heartbeat even though I was growing as I should have been. Not a good sign. He sent me for an ultrasound.
The test showed that while I was progressing, there was no sign of a fetus. I was devastated. The doctor scheduled a D&C.
I had the procedure a few days later as an outpatient. Apparently my uterus was growing and there was a placenta, just no fetus. Since I hadn't had any bleeding, my doctor was at a loss to explain what had happened.
My husband wasn't as upset as I since he felt if there was no baby, then I hadn't really been pregnant.
At home, my mental state, however slid into depression. I wouldn't get out of bed and cried often. My husband couldn't understand why I was so sad and often became angry. Reminding me I hadn't been pregnant, so basically move on and get over it. There may not have been a fetus, but to me, I had been pregnant and the loss for me had been real.
My mom came out and stayed with us for almost a week and took care of me. She understood and helped me out of my depression.
By the end of her visit I was feeling better, but still sad. I carried that sadness for a while, but never spoke of it to my husband, as all it did was make him angry.



Friday, September 11, 2015

Getting Rid of the Stigma- Abortion #shoutyourabortion

This next month or two I am focusing on a series of blogs telling the stories of women. About their first sexual encounter, their periods, miscarriages, abortions, adoption, pregnancies and all the things that society has developed stigma's surrounding.

We shouldn't talk about menstruation it's so gross, we should hide and be ashamed of our abortions, we should grieve in silence when it comes to a miscarriage or fertility issues, we should feel dirty if we engage in any type of sexual experience or experimentation or heaven forbid are willing participants in any sort of sex work. Women are paid less money and our body standards are ridiculous, we are told to feel bad if we keep a baby and we are single, hello! God says you need to be married first! But hey, that abortion you want? Nope nada, nothing.

September 18th will be stories of women who dealt with miscarriages or fertility issues.

If you would like to contribute a story to the collection it will be anonymous, only the age you were at the story's time. I want women to feel they can share without the fear of harassment, however if you would like me to include your name or online handle, please let me know. Email me at damianarose777@gmail.com







ABORTION

(Tiny rant)

Oh dear Goddess, did I just type that and in BIG print? Yes I fucking did.  Abortion in LEGAL in the United States, just so you know. When you try and limit who can access safe affordable abortions people get PISSED OFF.

I attended the rally in Utah to support Planned Parenthood after our Governor decided to illegally defund them. Not only does this hurt women's health care in a major way (STD testing, pregnancy testing, cervical cancer screening, the giving of birth control) but  it is just another way conservatives are trying to make Roe vs. Wade null and void.

Already so many states have restrictions on when you can have an abortion and now WHY you can have an abortion. I am angry about 90 % of the time now. Do we really want women in back alleys with coat hangers to get rid of unwanted babies? Or do we want them in a sterile safe environment? The latter, of course.

A fetus is not a baby, that is simple science and your religious views do not belong in any vagina BUT YOUR OWN. You don't like abortion? Fine then don't have one.

By the way....you can be anti-abortion and still PRO-CHOICE.

And if after all is said and done if you are anti- choice then I better see you rallying for cheaper healthcare, higher income limits for food-stamps, free birth control, sex education being mandatory EVERYWHERE, free daycare and all the welfare and social services that conservatives tend to also be against and hate.

Pro-Life should not stop once the baby is born, so if you don't think any one ever should have an abortion hopefully you are smart enough to understand that will lead to thousands of unwanted babies needing to be adopted or ending up in foster care or ditched in trash cans and safe havens. That hundreds of women will drop out of school and college to become single moms who can't make it with the pitiful amount of government assistance currently available.

You may also think, "hey....can't deal with a baby, don't have sex." Aside from the fact you are an idiot, hear this: WOMEN ENJOY SEX. We should not be shamed into not having sex or called a slut for actively seeking sex out. Men don't worry about this, why should we? I'll tell you what.... women will stop having sex for fun if any time a man deposits sperm anywhere it cannot create a baby they are fined. Deal? Yeah I thought as much.

Now onto the facts.

ABORTION FACTS

(Read them and weep, or feel intense amounts of relief)

What is an abortion: the deliberate termination of a human pregnancy, most often performed during the first 28 weeks of pregnancy.


What are the ways to have an abortion?:
Surgical abortion is a procedure that ends an undesired pregnancy by removing the fetus and placenta from the mother's womb (uterus). (Can cost up to 1500 dollars depending on how far along you are and where you live.)

Abortion pill  is the popular name for using 2 medicines to end a pregnancy – mifepristone and misoprostol. In general, it's used up to 63 days — 9 weeks — after the first day of a woman's last period.

Risks associated with abortion:

Myths:
Breast Cancer
Mental Health Issues
Infertility

Reality:
Bleeding
Abdominal pain
Nausea
Diarrhea

 90 % of all abortions happen before the 13th week of pregnancy. Those women who get the later on usually have a good reason, like the baby won't be able to live outside the womb.

From 1973-2010 421 died having a legal abortion, the majority occurring before 1983, compare this to the fact that in 2013 800 women died during complications in child birth.

3 out of 10 women will have an abortion by the time they turn 45.

69% of women say they have their abortions because the cannot afford a child

61%  of women who have abortions already have a child

73% of women who have abortions are also affiliated with a religion









Planned Parenthood



Let's get this out of the way. Planned Parenthood provides many women's healthcare services, one of which is abortion. This is all VERY legal.

Some Planned Parenthood's donate fetal tissue to help with research that prevents diseases like Parkinson and Alzheimer's. This is also legal, to date no Planned Parenthood had been found guilty of any wrong doing. They are allowed to charge for the cost of shipping and packaging; end of story. The horrible videos made to hurt this great organization are simply the end result of a delusional hate filled douche wheel.

Only 3% of the services that Planned Parenthood performs is abortion. They do no push abortion on pregnant women, they are simply there to provide a safe environment for women. Am I saying that there are NO women who have had bad experiences? No, as with any type of healthcare there are good and bad experiences, but like any health care provider this does not mean the whole organization it shite.  So please support Planned Parenthood they are very needed in this country.

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/



You Might Know Her


I was very blessed to have several women willing to send me their abortion stories. I think it's important to understand that these these women could be your mothers, sisters, daughters or friends.  

Age of Story 20
When I was 20 years old I was dating a guy who I thought was fantastic. We had been dating for over a year and I thought we were both very happy. One day I started receiving less texts and when our usual phone calls would end with 'I love you' it ended with 'Yeah, bye' instead.

Of course we ended up breaking up and this time it was the worst breakup of my life. I could NOT get over it. I was in bed crying all day, feeling sick all the time and when I did go into work I was half of myself.

One fine day I told a fellow coworker that I could smell the french fries from the restaurant near my house and they asked if I was pregnant. I laughed because it couldn't be true. I had had a period before then and no sexual contact in weeks.

When I went home I decided to pick up a test just in case and when it came out positive I realized I had to tell the would be father about it. He wasn't taking my calls and this wasn't something you could really talk about over the phone anyway.

I drove to his work and had to wait a couple of hours before he decided to talk to me. When he did I could tell he was upset that I had come to see him. I didn't even want to say what was wrong so I handed him the positive pregnancy test.

He stopped everything he was doing and said that when we were dating we had talked about the fact that we weren't ready for kids and if something like this happened we were going to abort. I agreed that we had talked about it and then I went silent. It was a little too much for me to handle really coming to terms with it.

This is the time when I found out just how awful a person he really was. He told me that if I was going to keep the child it would be against his will and that it was not fair to him that I got to make the decision on this. I was terrified of having a child with him at that point. I was terrified of being pregnant. I told him I would get the abortion but I would need his help to get through the next little while.

We went to a class at Planned Parenthood where they talked about all the advantages of not having an abortion and all the other options you have. They said at the end of everything if you were still planning on having the abortion you needed to think on it for 24 hours and the next day they would perform the procedure.

The next 24 hours were a blur. Ex boyfriend tried to keep me somewhat occupied but it was half-hearted and felt more like pity and he was being forced to than anything else.

The next day we went to the clinic and they took us to the back room, drugged me up a little bit and asked if I wanted to do the pills or if I wanted to have them suck it out. I decided on the second option. It was rough to listen to the sucking sounds. I cried a little bit from the pain and a little bit from the empty feeling I felt afterwards. 

Once we were all done I asked my ex to go wait outside while they had me in recovery. I sat there while they made sure I stopped bleeding too much. Once they were satisfied with the amount of blood they let me go. 

I was put on medicine that told me to stay out of direct sunlight while I was on it. That took out my job while I was on the drugs. I ended up sitting around feeling miserable for myself for a full week since I couldn't work and I couldn't think of anything else. My ex after the whole thing was done told me that the problem was gone and he didn't need to deal with me anymore.

I can safely say that it was the most painful thing emotionally I have ever had to do in my life. I ended up getting pregnant again months later with someone else I was dating and kept that child. He's the light of my life now. After having that child I have been very firm on being on my birth control.


Age of Story 29

As I watched the two pink lines appear in my pregnancy test, several emotions passed through me; joy, fear and despair. Joy because I am first and foremost a Mama, and fear because I could not at the time have another baby-- how would I afford it? How did this happen? My boyfriend and I had been so careful... and then despair because the timing was so off, and I knew my boyfriend would be extraordinarily unhappy with the turn of events.

I had an abortion. It’s hard to write let alone say out loud. It sounds hateful, hurtful and like a bad word. But I am getting ahead of myself. It took a week, a week of tears and the thought of losing a man I loved for me to come to the conclusion the most grown up decision for myself, my two daughters and my lover was to abort the child inside of me. I have a history of miscarriages; I prayed and hoped that my body would not be compatible with this fetus, just like the previous three.


I suffered through hormones surges, morning sickness, breast tenderness and the knowledge that, after all this time, I was finally carrying a viable pregnancy. I did not want to be a single mom again, and I knew my boy did not want the baby and could not handle the thought of having a child. I swayed between saying; “Fuck you! This is MY baby!” and “I can’t do this right now, I can’t handle doing this alone again, I need it over with.” My mind raced with all the possibilities as I waited for Friday, February 10th, when I would have three days to deal with what was about to happen.

I talked to my baby,  I told it I loved it, but I couldn’t keep it. I spoke to my Goddess, and I prayed for guidance, feeling torn between this being a punishment or just horrible luck.

The abortion process in Utah is ridiculous. There are only two clinics that perform the procedure, and women come from miles around to take advantage of their services. When I went in for the informed consent class-- a class that tells you exactly what will happen and what your options are-- I was pissed. I was a grown woman, almost 29, I knew what was happening. Thankfully, the woman who did the class was an older nurse, and she sped through it. What was disturbing was that there were women from Ogden, two hours away, and Wyoming, 2-3 hours away. All these women had to drive a long way for a five minute class just to make an appointment. Plus, after the informed consent class, there is a 24 hour waiting period before they can legally do the abortion.(In May of 2012 this law changed from 24 hours to 72 hours) In 2009 there were 3,665 abortions reported in Utah... the laws regarding abortion are illogical, especially with how many women seek abortion services. In Southern Utah there are no abortion clinics at all.

He held my hand tightly as we parked in the underground lot that Friday morning. I had a moment to be pissed off that I had to go in a back way just in case there were people protesting. This was my body, my right, my choice, no matter how sick I felt about it. I have always been pro-choice and doing this made me even more so. My boyfriend was quiet as we checked in and I have to say the price for the abortion made me feel violated: 425 dollars? How do victims or underage girls pay for such a thing?

I had to have an ultra sound first and could only be grateful they did not make me look at it, then blood tests, I was shaking, I was so nervous. A nice, older woman, the doctor who would be performing the abortion, tried to calm me down. It worked. She seemed so confidant and secure in what was about to happen, I felt some of the tension leave me. I went into the little room and undressed from the waist down and got on the table, my boyfriend held my hand the entire time; they sat him in a chair that faced me and the wall so he could not see what was going on. I remember my legs were freezing and shaking, held in place by cold plastic stirrups. They gave me laughing gas, but no pain killers. The doctor told me it would be three minutes and only hurt as bad as my worse menstrual cramps. I could feel my heart racing-- my menstrual cramps, without birth control, are terrible. I had a suspicion this was going to really hurt.

I tried to breathe normally as they started. There are almost no words for what I went through, it hurt worse than I could imagine, like three minutes of condensed labor pains without a break. I could not breathe as tears leaked down my face. I remember glancing over at him for a second and taking some comfort in the fact that his eyes were red rimmed. It was the longest most horrifying three minutes of my life. It took ten minutes before. I sat, curled, in a reclining chair feeling nauseous, with a heating pad on my abused abdomen. Tears were still streaming down my face as I rocked, thinking to myself, “I am so sorry,” over and over again.

Thirty minutes later they asked me to check my bleeding, and it was a lot, way more than I should have been. Needless to say they had to re do the abortion. They told me it would not hurt as much because the tube they were going to use was smaller, but it did. Thankfully, my boyfriend has a high tolerance for pain, because I almost broke his hand. I went to a place far away in my mind, like this could not be happening to me, this had to be some other woman writhing in pain, not getting enough oxygen, sobbing as her baby was sucked out of her.
The second time everything went fine. I was released forty five minutes later. I never want to have to go through that again. Was this painful and horrible? Yes. Do I regret it: NEVER, this was right for me and it was my choice. I will defend the right for ANYONE to have an abortion.


Age of story 19

I was raped after my 19th birthday. It was really bad, but what came after was worse. I found out I was pregnant. I never hesitated, I wasn't going to keep my rapists baby. My dad argued with me that I was killing a life. When I told him I would keep it if he raised it and I never had to see the kid he changed his mind real quick.

My sister took me to Planned Parenthood. I was lucky that Medicaid in my state will pay for an abortion if you are raped, but to get the man Medicaid took forever so I was almost 15 weeks pregnant.

I had to drive two hours to get this abortion I traveled for eight hours in total. Four hours for the counseling session and four for the actual abortion.

There were protesters and I was nervous, I didn't want to go to jail before my abortion. I would have kicked some white lady's butt if she got in my face. Some of their signs were sick, and really dumb too.

The procedure didn't take long, I was there maybe an hour. Gosh it was cold, I just remember being cold.  It hurt, but I was glad I got to go home so soon, I had crazy thoughts of staying the night in the clinic, thank Jesus I didn't. (Yes Jesus, I'm a Christian.)

 My sister bought a huge pizza and she and I got high that night, ate pizza till I wanted to throw up, and watched Monty Python movies.

My relationship with my dad has never been the same, he thinks I am going to hell.  It doesn't matter, I'm married with a baby on the way now and very ok with the situation and how I handled it. God knows who I am and what I did, I don't need anyone to judge me but him.


Age of Story: Unknown

I don't recall when it was exactly,  I just remember being younger than I am now and afraid of life and choices i made or would have to make.  I remember my boyfriend of that time and how angry and sad he had been that it had happened, he'd never really be interested in having sex with me for this reason - he didn't want an accident to happen.


I remember wanting the baby, I remember doing what was best for said boyfriend.  He had been so pissed off that i got pregnant in the first place, what he'd feared would happen actually happened.  I remember the conversation I had with my parents and telling them I would take care of it. I remember the room I was in when i went to take care of it, sterile,  cold , but the people were pleasant enough.


I remember feeling like..this is just not right, I want this baby, but knowing I couldn't have it. I cried after it happened.I never forgave him for it either.

Sex takes 2 people. .but I blamed him for it. To this day, I've never forgiven him for pushing me into the abortion..or making me feel like it was all my fault.


Age of story 35

I wanted my baby more than anything. Husband # 2 and I had been trying for two years to get pregnant. We found out at 16 weeks that our baby had anencephaly. I did not know what that was, I had never heard of it before. The doctor explained it is when the baby is born without part of its scalp and brain. I was told my baby would die shortly after being born.

We decided to have an abortion. I did not want to carry a child to term only to watch them die.  We had an abortion, it was the only option for me that made sense. Because of the reasons I was able to have an abortion at the hospital with my doctor and bypass the normal waiting period for our state.  Thankfully it was caught early, I hadn't even bought too much baby stuff yet. We are now trying to adopt. I am too scared to go through that again.