I have been thinking a lot of late about the definition of beauty. Why women (and men) are still upheld to ridiculous standards and definitions of what is beauty.
This blog is mainly going to talk about females, even though I know men are subjected to their own body image definitions.
As a woman I am shown through media I should be thin (but not too thin because then I am mocked or teased for having and “eating disorder”) I should have big boobs, a tight firm ass, luscious radiant hair that comes straight from a hair care product commercial and a asymmetrically face, large eyes, long lashes, plump lips, smooth golden skin and I should be tall, but not too tall, with dainty feet, my vagina should be smooth, pink and hairless and every inch of my body should be hair and wrinkle free.
Now tell me in what time and place all of these things could happen to me at once without the aid of a)photo shop or b) a surgical knife? The answer: NONE it is all bullshit.
I am friends with more than a dozen women, all beautiful in their own way; in fact I have only ever met two people IN MY LIFE that I thought, “wow that person is ugly” as in NO beautiful quality at all. One was physical and the other had such a horrible personality it made them hideous. I have known people I thought were beautiful whose personality made them ugly to me and vice versa.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I think this statement is very true and who is main stream media and people who make MONEY off our self esteem to tell us otherwise. Who are these people telling us how we should look if we want to consider ourselves “beautiful?” It is complete crap. Those people; the vogue magazines, clothing lines, modeling agents, hair commercials, cosmetic companies and plastic surgery practices all get one thing from women constantly criticizing their looks: money.
How you feel you look; beautiful, sexy, frumpy, sophist acted, dull, homely, elegant, pretty, cute etc..etc… has nothing to do with anyone but YOU! It is you who turns to the mirror and decides and it should be your opinion that matters and a opinion that is not swayed by some power/money hungry person/company filling your mind full of hate and ugly.
I have plus size friends, thin friends, blonde and brunette friends, pierced and tattooed friends. I know women who wear too much makeup and some who wear none, they are all beautiful and should not be placed side by side to a made up woman who in reality cannot exist without extreme help. I.E make-up, surgery, a salon, photo shop and personal trainer.
Happily I have found that very slowly certain aspects of the media are trying to change how we look at beauty.
This article in the Huffpost are all photo’s of women who refuse to shave their underarms, showing that a shaved body does not equal beauty of perfection.
Here is a great website that talks about the steps to redefine beauty: Recognize, Redefine, and Resist
Here is the All Women are Beautiful Website
This is the You Are Beautiful Project you can buy a little sticker to put on your car to support the cause
Be kind to each other. Women are our own worst enemies. When I have interactions with another woman I find something to compliment her on, her earrings, eyes, hair style. I have found over the years women beam when they are complemented, more so by another woman. Even if it’s unexpected and she acts a little taken back I have found when she walks away she is smiling and touching her hair/blouse/face/tattoo whatever I said I liked. Men tend to complement us and it is all about sexualizing us, women compliment other women because they want what the other has or appreciate the style/taste/beauty of the other woman. Try it and see. Just remember: you are beautiful no matter what you see on ANTM or issues of Cosmo.