Monday, December 29, 2014
As the New Year approaches I find myself thinking back to everything that happened this year. I got married, my sister had a baby and gave her up for adoption. My sister was diagnosis with Tuberous sclerosis, a form of epilepsy that causes tumors to form in her brain and causes seizures. My grandmother passed away this year and I gave birth to a healthy baby boy..... So much happened that I hope next year, 2015, in much MUCH quieter.
But as I thought about my year, the ups and downs, the babies, the fights the laughter....My husband and children really are my brightest blessings. This got me to thinking about my Boo, his smile, laugh, quirks....how I can't stay mad at him for long...how he is brilliant, funny, sweet, loyal and kind... It made me wonder...Can I make a list of all the things I KNOW he likes? Could he make a list about me? Can you make a list about your significant other? Or ANY of the people in your life? How does one measure how WELL we know someone?
Is it their stories? Their past? Their hopes and dreams? Does knowing these things equal up to knowing a person? Does knowing their wants and desires, what they like on their hamburger or how they take their ice tea the definition of whether or not you know someone well? Can you love someone and not know them, or not know EVERYTHING about them? Is the past really the past? How much does what you have done in the past affect your future?
I have friends who have done horrible things, possibly things I don't even know about....and I don't care...the things I DO know about my friends is why I love them...Now of course there are things I would draw the line at....Pedophile, Rape, Murder (under certain circumstances) really conservative tea party politics (sorry). However my unconditional love flows over a lot of rocks and bumps and under a ton of bridges. I would hope my friends feel the same for me, that no matter if I am a liar, a gossip, a manipulator, a door matt, a bitch, a cry baby...that the things we do together, conversations we have had, good and bad times shared, moments gone through....I would hope all of these things mattered more than something that might have happened years before. That you might feel guilty about, refuse to think about or not even care you did.
Everyone has secrets and they deserve not to be judged by them. I know the people I love all have secrets, things they feel ashamed about or guilty of. Pondering these questions made me realize. I DONT FUCKING CARE. The people I love, I love for who they are now and when they are with me....Stupid? I don't think so, everyone deserves love, friendship and family and to have somethings kept private and forgotten about.
Humans are not naturally good, we can choose to be good, but we all have the ability to do bad and evil things. We judge ourselves about the "bad" we do on concepts like: "Will I got to Heaven?" "What would so and so say if they knew?" But really isn't it about how YOU feel about yourself....I have always known I am not such a good person, I have done bad things I regret, that cause me moments of guilt and panic (anxiety disorder enter here). Then I stop myself and think, "isn't the fact I feel bad what's important here?" "Did I ruin someone's whole life with that act? And if I did, did I do it on purpose?" "Compared to Hitler, Ted Bundy and Nixon, is what I did or said really that bad or evil?"
I also have to look at how others view me...which I hate saying because it's really NOT about what others think about you....However, when you have people who tell you, "you put up with that a lot longer than I would have." or "Why do you even pick up the phone, you're too nice." or even, "everyone knows you will be there if something bad happens." Maybe I am not as horrible as I view myself? Maybe it is true: you are your own worse critic.
I am constantly trying to improve myself, be a better version of me...What if that's the flaw and I should just embrace my awful parts and my beautiful parts?....Maybe things are not as black and white as hero and villain. I am not saying that I should stop telling the truth or let my anger get the better of me...I am saying if I lie, if I lose my temper, maybe I shouldn't beat myself up over it anymore and just love who I am, flaws and all....I can be a prideful, sarcastic, lying, manipulative, angry, selfish bitch....I can also be a loyal, loving, funny, romantic, creative, beautiful mother, wife, daughter and friend. Which is the real me? They both are.
So with that Happy New Years and Bright Blessings to you all.
Can you list 20 things about your romantic partner that they like? Can you list it about your Best Friend? Try it and see where it takes you.
I gave it a try and here's how I did.
My Boo likes:
Going to the Library
Trying new places to eat
The color red
Listening to conspiracy theory podcasts
Playing Candy Crush
Seventh Samurai (movie)
Mystery novels (especially the noir kind)
Loose leaf tea
Old fashioned pirate type ships and explorers like in Treasure Island
My Best Friend Turtle likes:
The Color blue
LoTR and Hobbit
The scent of Lavender
Les Miserables (The Musical)
Being and Auntie
Arizona Green Tea
Saturday, December 13, 2014
Now a lot of people have started saying things like Happy Holidays, as to not offend anyone....I don't really care, it's the spirit BEHIND those words that mean the most to me....not the words themselves.
People also get all upiddity about saying Merry X-Mas....How it takes the Christ out of Christmas....I could counter argue that...but I shouldn't';t have to. Not everyone thinks Christmas is about Christ and you shouldn't force your crap on someone else or automatically assume they are saying it to insult you. They probably just didn't want to type or text out Merry Christmas.
All that being said, most Christian traditions are actually pagan. So here is a list of the top ten traditions most Christians practice and how they are actually Pagan (or just have nothing to do with the birth of Jesus).This is not meant to offend, I don't really care if you are Christian or not...I do care you respect other people and their own reasons for celebrating this holiday season.
On a scale from one to ten, one being the best tradition ever and ten being the lamest:
10.) Hanging and kissing under the Mistletoe
Mistletoe was considered a magical plant in Pagan lore. It was said to give fertility, life and protection and was sacred. It was gathered at summer and winter solstices and it was said to ward against evil spirits when used to decorate one’s home. This can be linked back to the Festival of Saturnalia and other Greek and Roman marriage rites.Saturnalia was the celebration of Saturn, the Roman God of sowing or seeds. It was a seven day festival in December where work and business was suspended and slaves given temporary freedom.
9.) Stringing up Lights
Ancient pagans lit bonfires and candles on the winter solstice and the holidays around it to celebrate the return of the light.
8.)Using Holly and Ivy for Decorations
Decorating with holly and ivy is an ancient pagan tradition and was used by the Romans to decorate at Saturnalia celebrations.
7.)Red and Green as Christmas Colors
Green because Holly, Ivy and Mistletoe are plants used during winter celebrations for thousands of years. It brightens up a home in the dark winter months. Red is used now-a-days because of the berries from the Holly plant and Santa’s suit, not really Pagan as such, but not Christian either.
6.) The Yule Log
There are a few Yule Log origin stories. In Northern Europe, Winter festivals were considered to be a Feast of the Dead, complete with ceremonies full of spirits, devils. Burning bonfires and special wood helped keep away the evil spirits. The origins of the Yule Log can be also be traced back to the Midwinter festivals, where Noresmen would feast and drink while burning fire in the hearth, toasting to health. To most Europeans burning the log for at least 12 hours would bring protection from evil and the ashes were spread over the fields and in wells to bring fertility and purification. Ashes were also used in charms to ward off storms and get rid of vermin.
5.)Celebrating on December 25th
When the Church came in and basically took over they changed many Pagan holidays to match Christian ones to make the transition easier and more appealing. For Christmas they took the Winter Soltice, or Yule and decided, “hey let’s make this Christmas, Christ’s birthday celebration.” (Not the exact words, by the by.) Due to certain passages in the bible most scholars believe Jesus wasn’t even born in the winter, that he was a spring or summer baby
During the winter solstice people would hang boughs of pine, spruce and fir over their doors and windows to keep away evil, evergreen plants and trees also reminded them that even though it was winter and the Sun God was gone he would come again. Ancient Egyptians used green palm rushes to symbolize life over death, Romans used evergreen boughs in their homes during Saturnalia and the Druids used them as symbols of everlasting life. Though Christians did start the tradition of decorating the tree in the 16th century.
3.) Santa Claus
The oldest story is from 280 A.D in Turkey, it is stated he was a monk, turned Saint, but I could find no mention of who gave him saint hood, or what the original name was. The main story was he was a guy who saved sisters from being raped and gave all his worldly belongings to the poor. You also have Sinter Klaas in Dutch, Kris Kringle for the Swiss and Germany. In Scandinavia he is thought to be an elf named Jultomten who is in a sleigh pulled by goats. The English call him Father Christmas, Pere Noel is French and in Russia he is an old woman named Babouschka. In Italy she is a kind old witch who rides a broomstick and gives toys. Depending on the area and year the myth originates most of the origin stories for Santa change, some adding Jesus or Christianity, some not.
2.)Krampus- The Evil Santa Christmas Devil
A half goat, half demon beast who beats people into being naughty or nice. He is said to be the son of Hel from Norse Mythology, a horrible Hag, Goddess of the Underworld. He shows up on December 6th and steals children away who have been wicked.
1.) The Giving and Receiving of Gifts
In Ancient Rome gifts were given on New Year’s instead of during Saturnalia in celebration of the fertitlity Goddess Strenia, Goddess of the New Year and Purification. Pagans gave gifts during Yule
. These gifts were normally more simply, celebrating fertility through wheat, alcohol and vegetables. Early church leaders actually tried to ban the practice and since the people wouldn’t let this specific tradition go they justified it by saying, “the three wise men gave gifts so we can too.”
-Christmas Caroling is a totally CHRISTIAN tradition. Read about the really interesting history here
So Merry Christmas Everyone! Or whatever Winter Holiday you choose. Be kind, be safe and be happy. Bright Blessings!!