Tuesday, July 1, 2014

How Criminal Minds Drove Me Insane

How Criminal Minds Drove Me Insane

(Some things may be exaggerated for comedic effect…or not )
Yes the title of this blog post is funny, but in a not so funny way.

I have recently developed a love of a TV show called Criminal Minds. It takes place in the center of the FBI Behavioral Analysis Unit…You know the profilers who help catch serial killers and other super baddies.

I wanted to be a profiler when I was young (and a paleontologist, but I digress) and have had a fascination with serials killers and abnormal psychology for years. I knew then that if I went down that path it might drive me crazy and I would never have a normal life because it would consume me…So I went a different path, I’ve always regretted it a little.
This show is GREAT, they use a lot of actual terminology, science, psychology and tactics that are used in real life profiling, so I get into it. As in my husband and I start having detailed discussions about the subjects and I dream in BAU.

I started with season one about a month ago and am already into season five, finally last night I had to tell my husband we were taking a break, at least a week of not watching this intense, sometimes scary, dark and super entertaining show. I have binged watched a lot of programs and never had a problem before; Pushing  Daisies, Doctor Who, Big  Bang Theory, Community, Gilmore Girls and more…never before has my imagination jumped so far that it started to affect how I react to others.

I have always been cautionary, I try not to talk to strangers, don’t walk alone at night, meet new people in public, always tell someone where I am going, keep an eye and possibly a hand on my children at to zoo, park etc.. Constant Vigilance (Mad Eye Moody style), don’t wear ear buds on public trans or while taking a walk…All things I have learned over the years of how now to be a victim, like not helping anyone, especially guys who have broken arms or cars. (BundY!) My oldest daughter will tell you if you talk to strangers you wind up taken from your family and cut up in little pieces in a wall some place…. Simply because horrible things happen to people who don’t know the score of baddies out there.

Let me clarify, my kids are not afraid of life or people, in fact the opposite is true, so when they are smiling and waving and wanting to talk to EVERYONE, I also want them safe and to understand what can lie out there. I am the same way. I make friends easily, chat up the book store clerk, have a few drinks at the bar, but no way am I wandering into an alley with a strange dude, ya know? When we go to the book store I let my eldest take my youngest to the kid section while I browse YA and romance, but we have rules and I check in with them. I feel  like I tread the boundary between too lax and over protective really well.

However this last week I have been seeing bad guys where there are not, sometimes even in my own home. My imagination is screaming at me that there are molesters at my kid’s day care, anyone who even looks at my child for a second is suddenly a horrible pedophile and at any time my kids are going to be snatched from my front yard. I have found myself questioning the motives of family and friends in regards to their kind actions towards my daughters and I have to say, when YOU realize you are going crazy it is a new experience, especially if that experience is in extreme paranoia. 

I know my family, I know my friends, these are good awesome people who do not need some  whack a doodle  (Me) profiling them on the side just in case they are a psychopath and I feel bad for my negative dark thoughts of the past week.

Let me tell you how I finally realized I had gone way into the land of the nut job:
I always check on my kids before bed, but now I find myself checking windows and worrying about whether the noise I heard was someone breaking in to slaughter us all in the night…Trying to sleep while also trying to figure out , “was that the cat or a homicidal maniac?” Not easy.

Sunday after I took my normal pregnancy nap and dreamed….. I awoke from a nap and the house was quiet too quiet and when I went out there was no one in the house. I called the police and they found my husband dead in the park and someone had stolen my five year old.  Waking up and figuring out it was still Sunday and the house was just too quiet almost threw me into a panic, I grabbed my phone and practically darted into the living room, to find…My husband watching world cup while my youngest was taking a nap.

One of the final straws on the “You are cray cray knock it off” camel’s back came this morning. I dropped my youngest off at daycare and a man walked in after me…He didn’t have a child with him and I instantly went. THAT IS SUSPICIOUS! I signed my kid in, made sure she was properly hugged and kissed and went back to the car, on my way out I heard him simply ask about his time card….However I memorized what he looked like and what he was wearing and driving, sure that in a hour I would get a call that he was holding the day care hostage or had shot the place up, or even kidnapped some of the staff and or kids…and I WANTED TO BE ABLE TO GIVE THE POLICE AN ACCURATE DESCRIPTION.
So I am taking a break you beautifully horrible and yet addicting Criminal Minds….before I freak out and lock us all in our house with dehydrated food, a year’s supply of water and first aid and start home schooling my kids.

Bad things happen it’s life, it sucks, I do not need to think about what COULD and just deal with it if it DOES. Hopefully now the men around me will stop looking like sadist perverts and go back to normal.

Bright Blessings 

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