Tuesday, July 30, 2013

I am Improving Birth Because.... I am a plus size woman planning a VBAC Home birth

Warning: This is a topic where I have very strong opinions and you may not like what I have to say. If you cannot handle that please find an article on childbirth that shares your view points.

I have been thinking a lot of late about child birth. Boo and I want to start having our third child (first one together) as soon as we are married.  I am excited and looking forward to it. However this is the issue, after the births of my daughter’s didn't go the way I wanted I am planning on having a home birth or a birthing center birth. However because I will be a plus size VBAC (vaginal birth after c section) patient I cannot have a Certified Nurse Midwife attend my birth outside of a hospital. I am also considered “high risk” which I find to be a load of crap since I was healthy through my pregnancies and delivered healthy perfect babies.

My best option to have a birth MY WAY is to go to a Direct Entry or Lay Midwife, which I am totally comfortable with. In fact I have already contacted several to make sure that my being plus size and VBAC will not be an issue.  I am already planning for the birth and it is years away, possibly. I just want to do things my way. I do not want unnecessary medical intervention; I do not want to be hooked up to an IV or other machines. I want the freedom to move around in any location I feel like and birth in whichever position my midwife and I feel is going to be best. I want to wear my own clothes, have the option of a water birth, I do not want people sticking their fingers and instruments up my cooch every hour to “check” my progress.  I want to be able to eat and drink.

With the birth of my first daughter I had my water broken without my permission and to this day I wish I had kicked that midwife in the face. With my second I had an unnecessary c-section. After the pitocin didn't work my doctor scared me into thinking my uterus was too tired to labor anymore and my pelvis wasn't wide enough for my daughter to get through….Utter BULLSHIT.

I am going to have one of my very best friends be my doula and make sure Boo is ready to lend me the support that I need so I can have a natural and good vaginal birth. I want my baby laid upon my chest instead of whisked off to the nursery. I want a faster recovery time then I had with my c section and someone who knows how to do perineal massage to keep me from tearing.

In 2010 the USA had 12.7 maternal deaths per 100,000 live births. We were ranked the 50th country in the world back in 2008, meaning 49 countries are better than we are at preventing maternal deaths…With as “good” as our health care system is this number is ridiculously high. In fact we rank right up there with countries like Saudi Arabia and Iran. You know what is scariest part? It is on the rise, which means IT IS NOT GETTING ANY BETTER. I refuse to be a statistic.

I get so angry when I hear about people having c-sections, most of the time they are not needed. I mean come on it is MAJOR abdominal surgery. Your body can birth your child vaginally. I don’t care where you have the baby or if you use medication or not…That’s not what this is about.  A woman’s body was made to give birth. Have we gotten that lazy? Or is it because so many women are uneducated? Your pelvis is NOT too small; your baby is NOT too big. Are there reasons to have c-sections? Sure, no one is asking for you or the child to die, that’s ridiculous, but I have found doctors push c-sections on you whenever they can. Maybe it’s easier for them, I sure as hell know they make more money off a surgery that a vaginal delivery.  I want women to understand their options, to enjoy their birthing experience and the miracle that is growing a life inside of you, one you want that is. Pro-Choice! Women should not have to be afraid or shamed into making decisions they do not want.

In the end it is YOUR body and YOUR decision, just make your birthing choices your way. You have so many options, do not let a doctor (or anyone) tell you what you can and cannot do. Research, read, listen and in the end it is all about informed consent and decisions.

Here are some super awesome links

Friday, July 26, 2013

Friday Five- At the Movies

Friday 5 is a meme hosted by http://f.riday5.com/

1. Where in the theater do you like to sit when you’re at the movies?

In the back, and an isle seat. Sometimes I have to pee and I hate interruppting other's experiences.

2. What characteristics does the ideal movie companion have?

They are quiet, and yet still don't mind me (or them) making the occasional funny comment.

3. What memory do you have of things not going quite as usual at the movies?

We went and saw Jurassic Park (for like the fifth time) and there was a HUGE storm and the power went out. We sat around for FOREVER. I can't remember if we actually got to finish the movie or not.

4. What are your feelings about commercials and movie previews playing before the film you’re there to see?

I hate commercials. I LOVELOVELOVE previews!

5. Who is an actor or director whose involvement in a film is enough to make you want to see it?

Tim Burton

Saturday, July 20, 2013


I am getting married. That’s right, you heard it here! I am getting married to quite possibly the most brilliant, handsome and wonderful man on the planet.

Yesterday was an interesting day. Boo told me he wanted me to pick him up from a doctor’s appointment, which is not abnormal, I often do so. I arrived there right on time and text him.  He responded that he was already done and at the cemetery across the street and had something he wanted to show me.  This also isn't abnormal. We love cemeteries, we love old tombstones and interesting epitaphs and we like to see polygamists buried with all their wives.

So I hurried across the street and Boo met me. He took my hand and led me farther in where there is this awesome old gate, I looked at him and asked,
“What’s up?”

 He pointed to a piece of parchment folded at the bottom bearing my name. Realizing something important was going on I picked it up and read through romantic sentiments(squeee!) until I got to the last line which simply read ” I should be on one knee right now with a question to ask you…”

Shaking I turned around, nervous laughter spilling out of me. He had a silver box in one hand and looked very anxious. I blurted out, “Now? You’re doing it now?”   I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
Looking even more panicky he asked, “Is this not a good time?”

To which I replied, “No! It’s perfect.”  Honestly I can’t really remember if he actually got down on one knee or not. My heart was thudding so loudly I could barely hold my hand still. I heard him ask if I would marry him and I said yes. It was perfect. I feel like this is my real marriage and my first true husband. I could not be happier or more blessed. I keep glancing down at my hand to make sure it is real, afraid I will wake up and it won’t be.

Funny though, all day I was so anxious for no reason. Guess my divination gifts were working in over time. Lol

Here are some fun marriage facts and statistics:
Traditionally, bridesmaids would be dressed in similar bride-like gowns to confuse rival suitors, evil spirits, and robbers.
A marriage ceremony typically ends with a kiss because in ancient Rome, a kiss was a legal bond that sealed contracts, and marriage was seen as a contract
Wedding dresses weren't always white.  In fact, they were traditionally red, blue, purple or even black, with gold and silver stitching. It wasn't until 1840, when Queen Victoria wed Prince Albert in a white bridal gown, that the "chaste" color became the status quo.

Wedding and engagement rings have been worn on the fourth finger of the left hand since ancient times. The Romans believed a vein in this particular finger, called "vena amoris" (a.k.a. the "vein of love"), leads directly to the heart.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Friday Five- Which one are you?

Friday 5 is a weekly meme hosted by http://f.riday5.com/

1. The Seven Dwarfs are Sleepy, Sneezy, Bashful, Grumpy, Dopey, Happy, and Doc. Which would be the easiest role for you to play today?
Probably Doc or Grumpy. Doc was fairly nerdy if I recall and I can become Grumpy pretty quick if I put my mind to it.
2. Santa’s eight tiny reindeer are Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen. Which would be the most apt nickname for you today? Ummm…… My boyfriend would say Vixen…. I am not sure, Cupid maybe?

3. The kids on Eight is Enough were David, Mary, Joanie, Susan, Nancy, Elizabeth, Tommy, and Nicholas. Which of these names have you known the highest number of? Which of these the least? Elizabeth I think, I have known about three of them….Honestly I don’t think I have known more than one of the rest, if even that.

4. The creatures in the Chinese zodiac are the rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, goat, horse, monkey, rooster, dog, and pig. Forget which one you are according to the calendar; which one do you imagine yourself most like? Huh….Probably the Tiger or the Dragon….in real life I think I am the pig, which I never cared for….Chinese Zodiac is weird

5. Each of the Five Chinese Brothers had a special talent: One could swallow the entire sea; one had an iron neck; one could hold his breath forever, one could stretch his legs as far as he needed; one could withstand fire. Which of these peculiarities would have been most useful to you this past week?
Ummmm none of them? I don’t think I have had use for any of those this week. The coolest one would be to withstand fire.

Friday, July 5, 2013

Friday Five- High School Musical

 Friday Five is a fun meme hosted by F.riday 5

  1. What song, album, or artist, disliked by you in high school, now sounds pretty good?
Nimrod- Green Day I thought I HATED Green Day in High school, but since  I know pretty much ALL their songs I realized I actually enjoy their music.
  1. What specific high-school memory do you have of discovering some song, album, or artist you considered old? I don’t… I have always loved music, especially 60’s, 70’s and 80’s. My best friend and I at the time would rock out to oldies like Neil Diamond and 80’s like Ah-Ha and the Thompson Twins
  2. What song or album best serves as the soundtrack for your senior year of high school? (bonus challenge: answer this question with a different song or album for each year of high school!)
I can’t do every year, but I can tell you Pink’s Missundaztood was something I listened to all the time Senior year…and yeah I know it ages me lol

4. What’s a song, album, or artist from your high-school years you loved then (and might still love) but have great difficulty listening to now, and what’s the reason?
Meredith Brookes- Blurring the Edges  I still enjoy the hell out of this album, but the son What would happen if we kissesd holds some strong memories for me that I don’t always want to think about.

5.What song, album, or artist from your high-school years, seemingly forgotten nowadays, do you still listen to with fondness?
Paula Cole- I listen to her album This Fire almost as much now as I did back then. He strong unique and pro women lyrics and awesome music still make me love her.

Monday, July 1, 2013

Wendy Davis, Goddess of Standing up for the Vagina

This week I want to give a HUGE shout out to my new found hero Wendy Davis. I know I have harped on women’s rights, especially in terms of what we do with our va jay-jays before….More than once probably…. But I keep coming back to this topic because conservatives keep trying to tell me what I can and cannot do with my body.

Last week Wendy Davis stood up for the rights of women all over Texas. She filibustered for over eleven hours, without food, without a potty break, without any sort of relief to make sure a bill, forbidding abortions after 20 weeks and that would basically close all but five of the 42 abortion clinics in Texas, would not pass.

For doing this awesome and heroic thing this great lady was then called out by Gov Dick Wad Perry that as a former teen mother she has not “learned from her mistakes.” What a douche bag, being a teen mom MADE her even more pro-choice. How tacky to even bring that statement up in response to another politician.

It is NONE of anyone’s business but the woman in question what she chooses to do with her uterus, abortion is an emotional decision that is personal for everyone woman and is not something done lightly.

What I can’t understand is why so many laws right now are anti-abortion…Don’t these people have anything better to do with their time? What about fighting poverty and hunger? How about trying to get rid of child hood obesity or cancer?

Conservatives want to force you to have the baby you don’t want and then don’t want to help you give it food, clothes or medical coverage once you DO have it. They may rant and rave over the delights of adoption, but they forget that the woman still has to carry the baby to term. What a traumatic experience it must be to have to be pregnant with a child you don’t want. Conservatives my also moan about the fact you shouldn’t be having sex to begin with. That is NOT realistic. People have sex outside of marriage, even republicans. People who are married and have “accurate” “god approved” sex sometimes don’t want a baby and have an abortion. The age old saying is the truest: Shit Happens.

Back in 2012 there were tons of anti-abortion laws thrown up, more anti-abortion laws than pretty much anything else, including laws to stop “the gays” from getting married ….Another ridiculous example of politicians wasting time and money btw

I was so hopefully after Obama was reelected that everyone could see how much more liberal our country was becoming that maybe anti-abortion laws would dwindled and die. Apparently I was wrong.

There is currently a law in Kansas that two doctors are trying to appeal, it takes effect this month and …..well read it yourself.

This time, Hodes and Nauser also are challenging provisions of this year's law spelling out what information doctors must provide to women before terminating their pregnancies, including a statement that abortion ends the life of a "whole, separate, unique, living human being." They also object to a ban on sex-selection abortions, arguing there's no proof any are performed in Kansas and that the provision is designed to "chill the performance of abortions."

In addition, the doctors argue in their litigation in Shawnee County District Court that the new law defines medical emergencies so narrowly that no woman could forgo the state's 24-hour waiting period, even with a life-threatening condition.

The new law also declares that life begins "at fertilization." Supporters argue that it's merely a broad statement of principle, not an attempt to regulate abortion, and Hodes and Nauser are asking for a ruling to that effect.

The new law would also require abortion providers to post a sign on their premises noting that it is illegal for anyone to coerce someone into having an abortion. The lawsuit said the notice is so lengthy that the sign will have to be at least 6 square feet.

In Ohio women have to have a transvaginal/abdominal ultra sound before having an abortion. Now I don’t know if you’ve ever had one but I have…They stick a cold gooey wand up your crotch, press down on your abdomen and spend like ten minutes poking and prodding you. This is usually only done if after a normal ultra sound the doctor cannot see the baby, or whatever else they are looking for. It is NOT something to have done just because you CAN or are being FORCED TO. Ohio also cut so much funding to clinics like Planned Parenthood many have been forced to close down.

Any abortion providers that manage to remain open under these restrictions are compelled to tell women "of the probable anatomical and physiological characteristics" of a fetus during various stages of its development. They must give women seeking abortions information on adoptions and alternative family planning options.

And if a woman is able to obtain an abortion in Ohio and develops some sort of medical issue during the procedure, clinics will no longer be allowed to transfer these patients to public hospitals for additional care. In the midst of a crisis, these patients must find a private hospital to help them.

In March of 2013 North Dakota passed legislation to restrict abortions after six weeks of pregnancy, which is horrible since a ton of women do not even know they ARE pregnant until 4 weeks, so now they can be told, “you have two weeks to decide if you wanna keep this baby or not.” And MAN! Republicans love the idea of sticking something into a vigina, don’t they? Oh, they also want to punish doctors too.

One of the newly passed North Dakota bills outlaws abortions when a fetal heartbeat is “detectable” using “standard medical practice.” Heartbeats are often detectable at about 6 weeks, using an intrusive transvaginal ultrasound, or at about 10 to 12 weeks when using abdominal ultrasounds.
But some experts said that doctors in North Dakota, which has only one clinic performing abortions, in Fargo, could face prosecution if they did not use the vaginal ultrasound when necessary to detect a heartbeat. Doctors who knowingly perform abortions in violation of the measure, if it is adopted, could be charged with a felony that carries a five-year prison sentence; the patients would not face criminal charges.

The law makes exceptions for abortion to save the life of the mother or for other severe medical emergencies, but not in cases of rape or incest.

Then you have Arkansas who in February adopted new abortions laws out lawing abortion past 20 weeks and trying to outlaw them past 12 weeks.

Arkansas is the 10th state to outlaw abortions after 20 weeks, in part based on the theory that fetuses can feel pain at that stage, a notion disputed by mainstream medical associations.

The 20-week limit also violates the legal threshold set by the Supreme Court, which has held that states cannot ban abortions before the fetus becomes viable. Such a limit has not yet been tested by the courts.

Doctors say viability, the ability to survive outside the womb, usually occurs after at least 24 weeks.

Not to mention assholes talking about how fetuses masturbate so they feel pleasure, that must mean they feel pain! OMG NO, not only is that sick and twisted but HELLO, have you ever seen or held a baby? They do not have the reflexes to do anything more than grip your finger, let alone masturbate.

Yes Virgina there are NO fapping fetuses

Or how about the dumb ass bitch who went on to say rape kits "clean you out," apparently you don’t need to actually take a health class to be voted into office. Rape kits simply test for semen and look for bruising and other indications of forcible, unwanted penetration.

Apparently Common Sense is Disease

These examples are just tips of the iceberg…Oh! Oh! If stupid laws/comments like these are not enough women seeking abortions or alternatives to abortion have to worry about Crisis Pregnancy Centers/Pregnancy Counseling Centers/Pregnancy Help Centers, which is basically code for coservatives trying to scare you out of your abortion and give you bad advice. They will give you incomplete and inaccurate information, may try to scare you, lie to you, delay you or discourage you, all in an attempt to keep you pregnant. Sometimes they do good things like provide you with free pregnancy tests and some give diapers and formula.However, more often then not experiences with these centers end badly. 
Please make sure the health center you are going to is actually a health center. Remember true health care providers will NOT try and influence your decision, good or bad, right or wrong. Research where you are going, before you make an appointment.

Here is a link to a video/article showing a woman giving inaccurate information to an under cover patient at one of these types of centers:

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

I am sick to death of this bull shit. Please politicians, leave our vagina’s alone. Please start looking into serious threats in the United States, not ones made up in your twisted, bigoted minds. Thank you again, Wendy Davis, for showing me that sometimes there is bright light at the end of a dark tunnel and that there are politicians literally standing up for women’s rights here in the USA. You are an inspiration.

Links you may want to read...Yeah I didn't make this shit up...I wish I did.

The Goddess Wendy Davis

Kansas Abortion Law
North Dakota Abortion Law
Arkansas Abortion Law
Planned Parenthood
Crisis Pregnancy Centers