Friday, May 24, 2013

Guess Who, my dear ones

Today I am going a little personal, I want to tell you about the people in my life that I love, that I would do anything for and whom make the days of my life just a tad brighter. I won’t be using any names, since that’s not how I role in this blog….Instead I am going to try and use my creativity. I will admit part of this post is purely selfish because I am hoping it will break through some writers block. This will be divided into two parts. Those That Are: are people currently in my life I either see or speak to on a regular basis. The Those That Were are people who are still important and special to me, but that I don’t get to be in contact with as much as I used to and as much as I would like to. It doesn’t make their presence in my life any less important.

Those That Are


My loyal companion, our lady of perpetual kindness. The world’s greatest Auntie, the water nymph who sometimes wishes she could roll in the grass or fly high above the clouds…the sometimes lazy and selfish Earth Child with the creative genius of a child and the soul of a rebellious old cat lady.

My savior, confidant and secure harbor when things suck. She is a stubborn earth sign, a passionate fire sign, with contagious laughter and sparkling eyes. She is mother earth, tending and growing, protecting and feeding; she is the fire goddess, blazing through everything, destruction in her wake.

He is like the earth, or possibly like the ocean, a titan biding time. Quiet and thoughtful one moment, loud and laughing the next. He is the king of half finished projects, the visionary surveying his kingdom and deciding to take the day off. He is the silent partner, provider, friend, ultimate grandfather wrapped around two tiny princess monsters.

My Wild and Crazy Death Girl
Blonde over blue, ink staining every surface, all with meaning, a steampunk princess with her coronet spread throughout her body. Always in the state of two, Gemini, self doubter, high praised, pride versus self loathing, wildness versus security, death versus life, crazy versus sane. Beautiful despair.


The mother, the singer, the caregiver, bringer of life, helper to the womb, mothers and babies one and all. Tall, dark and elegant on one side of her coin, hippie land witch on the other. She is a cross between 80’s and modern, wisdom with sarcastic humor glittering over thick skin.

Sexy Mama
The beautifier and animal lover. An Unseelie fairy princess hiding out in the Seelie court. Adorned with jewels, makeup and attitude, hiding a softer flesh and hidden secrets. A concealed past and an uncertain future, so many paths in front of her, so many behind her, an enticing wanderer, who women tend to hate and men tend to love.

My Sparkling Girl
The sprite, glittering sparkling, cheerful and full of warmth, love and good natured naughty humor. The strong princess, working, struggling, trying to dodge misfortune, Cinderella constantly battering her evil step mother, Sleeping Beauty, desperate to awaken from her curse, she is always going to make it, never is that in doubt.

Spicy Mama
Tangy and spicy, young yet growing up, so fast, almost too fast. A glowing lilac light amidst so much darkness, a lover of music and magic lifting towards the sky, dark curls resting on her forehead, working and playing a dozen hues of purple, swirling around with no beginning or end.

My pretty pink princess. Full of moods, gentleness, laughter and attitude. So little and yet already so grown up.

Monster Child
My evil darling, bossy, cute, deep doe eyes under brass copper curls, so like mommy, so like herself.

My brilliant boy, steady wonderful and good, the fairy tale prince with the low self esteem. The Doctor in need of the right companion, amusing, sweet and strange. A library with a million books full of knowledge and stories, it would take a life time to read them all…Which is what I am hoping to have.

Those That Were

My Boy

Green and gold, calm demeanor, always there, never forgotten. Summers full of long nights, laughter and friendship, love lost, love won. Softness, empathy, kindheartedness, winds in our hair, against our faces, my very first drama, my very first real best friend.

The Liberal Eclectic

Tall, thin, handsome, strange tastes and strong view points wrapped up in snarky paper and tied with a dry sense of humor not everyone understands. A Lord in his own rights, easily picking up the sword, but wishing he didn’t have to.

The Stone Lady
Like ten different colors of twine, twisting, fraying and churning together, each one a different path, a different choice, how can she choose which to follow? All hiding a stone heart beneath, with only a few chinks and cracks, so desperate to protect herself. Egg shells scatter before her feet, subjects must be careful how they tread.

The Ice Queen

Picture a meadow, frolicking lambs, maidens with corsets and heaving bosoms in the middle and dirty trysts, a river runs through the green grass, grass that is dotted with yellow and pink wild flowers. A castle stands in the back ground, majestic, but when you get up close to the castle it is surrounded by a sheet of see through ice. Inside sits a frozen queen, icy cold, uncaring and unaware of others.

My Fire Bird

She who always rises from the ashes, more amazing than before.

My Exotic Bird

Even when “caged” her splendor and personality is unique, one of a kind and awesome.

Country Girl

Mother, working woman, wife, daughter, friend and sister. Struggling through tough times, making happy memories, filled with the future, husband, children, new houses and with past, the past a glass teetering full of memory mojitos and other mind altering moments. County living smoothly blended with a red head’s passion makes the perfect drink.

I hope you enjoyed this, I enjoyed writing it. If you can guess who they are please respect their privacy and don’t post it on the blog unless they do first :)

Monday, May 13, 2013

Your V-Card

Like always this is my opinion, you can agree or disagree I don’t care. If you don’t like what I say please feel free to MOVE ALONG.

Virginity…. It’s a scary word… I don’t know why it is, but it IS. People all over the world treat it like a prize or a disease.

For ME sex is pretty personal. I have had a few one night stands, one was meh and one was GREAT some of the best sex ever…I swear! Lol. However THE best sex and the most fulfilling has been with people I loved (or thought I loved), someone who took the time to get to know me and what I liked.

Virginity however, that’s a whole other issue. So many questions… When? Why? How? Where? With whom? Will I be a slut? Should I save myself for marriage? Will it hurt? Will I like it? What about pregnancy? What about STDS?

Well…. Let’s go over these one by one.


When you are ready and not a moment before that. This is a personal decision. You shouldn’t let ANYONE pressure you, not a boyfriend/girlfriend, society, friends…. This is about your body. I decided I was ready when I was 18. I thought I was ready a year before and became so nervous I couldn’t stop shaking; my vagina clenched tighter than a vise and I almost threw up. When I decided it was right, by body went along with me…And NO ONE but me made that decision. My best friend will be 30 this year and is still a virgin. There is no shame in that. She just hasn’t found the person or the time to do it. Is there some law out there that says you HAVE to have sex before a certain age? No fucking way. This is YOUR body. You have sex when YOU want to…I don’t know how many times I have to say that.


Again, because you want to. Could be a ton of reasons; You are in love/like/lust. You have made the pro con sheet, thought about it, read articles, talked to your friends and YOU have decided you want to. Not a moment before. Sex is pretty awesome when done correctly and for the right reasons. Having sex because “everyone” else is doing it will probably leave a bad taste in your mouth. The WHY for me was because I was in love and horny. It was/is probably different for you.


Well…. Check out some porn, read a couple of romance novels, ask people who have done it and check Cosmo, honestly the HOW is the simplest part of the losing your V-Card equation. I did it with my panties and tank top still on, in missionary position in a Captain’s Bed. Lol


Once more… personal preference. Don’t do it some where sleazy. I always hear these horror stories about women who lose their virginity in the back of a car, under bleachers, in a bathroom. Remember this is your body and your dignity. You really just want to be comfortable. I was in my boyfriend’s bedroom; another friend lost it on the floor of her parent’s computer room, another on her boyfriend’s couch. They all had decent experiences where they didn’t feel rushed, cramped or embarrassed. In high school this one girl got caught having sex in the boy’s bathroom. I don’t know if it was her first time, but you can imagine the reputation she had after that. You can plan losing your virginity it does not have to be spontaneous and icky.

With Whom?

This is going to vary per person. For me it was my ex husband, we had been dating for three months and done quite a bit of foreplay. I recommend losing your v-card to a boyfriend or girlfriend and not just some random stranger, but that’s my own opinion.

Will I be a slut?
I am addressing this because of the copious amounts of slut shaming I see going on right now in the World. A man can have sex and be a stud, a woman does it and she is a slut. If you have sex you are not a slut! But you need to know that the world looks at women who enjoy sex and have sex outside of marriage as temptresses and whores…It’s horrible and unfortunate and so NOT TRUE…. I wish I could change it for my own daughters. Being an outspoken liberal female is my way of trying to combat this slut shaming stigma.

When I lost my V-card I didn’t feel like a slut. I felt pretty proud of myself, pleased and happy.

Should I save myself for marriage?

My opinion? No… You don’t buy shoes without trying them on first. Lol. I know a lot of people who waited for marriage and wish now they didn’t. I also know people who got married simply because they wanted to have sex. “Saving” yourself for the wedding night, I find, a ridiculous concept. You are not a used piece of chewing gum or candy just because you have sex with someone besides your husband or wife. Your virginity is not a special gift you have to only give to one person. I mean what if you do wait for marriage you give your spouse this special “gift” and they die? When you get re married is your relationship with your new spouse any less meaningful because you cannot “give” them your v-card? I know a lot of guys who cringe even at the mention of having to deal with a girl’s virginity. I also know some that like the idea of being the FIRST. People are weird.

Again this is something for you to really think about and decide whether or not it is YOUR values or someone else’s values making the decision for you. Saving yourself for marriage is primarily a religious concept. And mainly (though not all) a monotheistic religious concept, Pagans embraces sexual freedom. Another reason why I dig being a witch. When I was in school a bunch of people signed petitions stating they would wait till marriage before having sex, I always wonder how many of them actually waited. I am not saying it is a bad thing, I am sure many people have waited and been happy with the outcome. I am just saying for me? Yeah….nope.

Will it hurt? Will I like it?

For me and many of my friends it did hurt, from a lot to a little. I don’t know anyone (female) where their first time didn’t include blood or pain, at least a little. I have heard stories of girls who felt no pain, but I think this is the exception and not the rule. You may or may not enjoy your first time. I had a friend whose boyfriend pulled the old “if you love me you’ll have sex with me” line and she hated every minute of it. Another friend dated this guy who put her in a warm bath afterwards and during her first time was slow and patient…She really enjoyed it. I had an ok time, it wasn’t the best thing ever, but it wasn’t horrible. Rover was pretty good at making me enjoy myself and feel comfortable, sexually. The worse part was when I had to pee afterwards; it burned like a son of a bitch. A few hours later though I was more than willingly to do it again. I recommend your first time being with someone more experienced than you, at least then one of you has a partial clue of what’s going on.

What about pregnancy? What about STDs
Please see my blog posts on birth control and how abstinence only programs do not work. Use protection and get tested.

Wrapping this post up I want to ask you to share your virginity losing story here, this is a no judgment zone. It IS a serious topic in a society that puts stigmas on everything and tries to make people women feel bad about enjoying their bodies and sex.

In the end don’t let ANYONE, society, religion, friends, anyone make or take this decisions from you. It really is all about you, your choice, your body.

Links of Interest

Virginity Movie

Define Virginity
Kids Sexual Health

Losing it in Your 20's