So this week the topic is friends and friendships. I have always prided myself on being a good friend. In fact many people have told me that I hang on to people long after I should let them go. I feel that every person in my life holds or held a special place for as long as they were meant to, no matter why that person is no longer in my life…And let’s not kid, some people are not in my life for very obvious reasons, while some wandered away due to changes in beliefs, locations and lifestyle choices. It doesn’t mean we are not still connected it just means I no longer consider those people the true definition of a “friend.”
The definition of a friend by wiki standards is: is a relationship between two or more people who hold mutual affection for each other.
I keep my friends as long as I can, forever, if possible. I love all my friends for their faults, and their good qualities, their love, their laughter, their quirks, their tears…Everything. I try, as much as I can, to be a loyal companion for them. To be there with them through thick and thin, for whatever they need, and whatever hardships they face, or even if they just want to get pissed and talk about sex.
I have always been good at making friends; I can pretty much talk to anyone, so there has never been a shortage of awesome people in my life. Male, female, straight, gay, Christian, pagan and everything that falls in-between. In high school I was the mother hen of our little group and still take on that role a bit now that I am adult. I am the person my friends usually call when they need help or advice, a shoulder to cry on or someone to take them shopping, get them drunk or have coffee with when as one of my good friends says, “shit has gone down.”
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
I have picked up my friends from bars when they were too drunk to drive, picked them up from hospitals, schools and police stations, I have carpooled, baby sat and held their babies after they were born. I have eaten, slept besides, camped, gossiped and danced with them. I have consoled, gone to funerals, listened to and told deep dark secrets, cleaned up vomit, held back hair, gone on vacation and laughed with these people. I have spoken out for and defended them, I have told them when they are full of shit, I have fed, housed, given money to, worshipped with, praised, been scared for, been proud of and had shame for them. Above all else I have loved them and I hope they have loved me, for most of them have done for me what I have for them.
Each of my friends has held a different role in my life and no one could replace them. I have given them all nicknames and special abilities to single them out in short stories and poems and some I have even tried to immortalize in my novels.
The conventional wisdom is that good friendships enhance an individual's sense of happiness and overall well-being, but a number of solid studies support the notion that strong social supports improve a woman's prospects for good health and longevity. Conversely, it has been shown that loneliness and lack of social supports are linked to an increased risk of heart disease, viral infections, and cancer as well as higher mortality rates.
There are many different types of friend ships that I have been proud to have in my almost 30 years of life.
I have had associates, allies, freenmies, and imaginary friend (or two lol), friends who are solely online, gay friends, straight male friends, friends I had sex with, friends I fell in love with, pen pals, regular friends, and best friends. Sometimes I have more than one best friend at a time. Many people don’t believe this is possible, but I do.
Urban Dictionary states a best friend is: Best Friends are very special people in your life. They are the first people you think about when you make plans. They are the first people you go to when you need someone to talk to. You will phone them up just to talk about nothing, or the most important things in your life. When you’re sad they will try their hardest to cheer you up. They give the best hugs in the world! They are the shoulder to cry on, because you know that they truly care about you. In most cases they would take a bullet for you, coz it would be too painful to watch you get hurt.
I think I am lucky to be able to say I have had many best friends, sometimes more than one at a time, fulfilling different roles in different social circles. I can only hope I have been the best friend of many as well.
Friendships end, it is a fact of life. Whether it’s because of a disagreement, maybe a significant other, perhaps it was just time to move on. Friendships can end with a bang or a whimper, sometimes with no sound at all and sometimes with a shit load of drama. It is the good things, the memories; the lessons learned that we should take away with us, not the negative and not the bitterness.
I have said it before and I will say it again, you never run out of love, it is infinite and you can always make more, you can never have too many friends, too many people in your life that love you. If you do not have friends it is only through your own doing and the blame cannot lie with anyone but yourself.
Making a friend is easy
Keeping a friend, that’s the difficult part.
List of Famous Friends:
Susan B Anthony and Elizabeth Stanton (organized the women’s rights movement)
Gertrude Stein and Ernest Hemingway
Tim Burton and Johnny Depp
Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn
Harry Potter and Roland Weasley
John Adams and Thomas Jefferson
Han Solo and Chewbacca
C.S.Lewis and J.R.R Tolkien
Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.